An Empty Mind: The Key to Great Teamwork and Communication
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To really connect with the people around you, it is vital that you have an empty mind. But what exactly is an ‘empty mind?' Contrary to what it sounds like, having an empty mind does not mean that a person should sit there staring vacuously into space. Rather, it means having the ultimate open mind. Similar to an empty cup waiting to receive water, the mind should be in a state where it is ready to receive input.
In order for you to keep a properly empty mind, you must push all extraneous thoughts out. If you are speaking to someone then you must focus on what they are saying. You must not think about the meeting you have coming up, or the project you have to do, or the fight you just had with a friend.
You must also ignore the impulse to start formulating an answer before the other person is finished. Focus on what they are saying, not on what you want to say. Similarly, push aside what you think you already know. If someone is talking to you about a problem they are having and you have had a similar problem in your life, resist the urge to start thinking that you know all about their problem. Every situation is different, and sometimes what you think you know can have as strong negative consequences as what you don't know. I'm not saying you can't use your experience to help them; that's probably why they came to you in the first place. What I am saying is that you need to listen and wait for them to finish before you start comparing it to your past. You may find that the situations are not 100% identical.
Keeping an empty and open mind is vital when interacting with others. One of my favorite Zen stories illustrates why, and I have included it here. I first read it in ‘Zen in the Martial Arts' by Joe Hyams, but I have seen it in other sources as well.
In this story, an accomplished professor visits a Zen Master to learn about Zen. Whenever the Zen Master gets into a point, the professor begins to give his own opinions and viewpoints, This continues for some time, with the Zen Master being completely unable to convey his learnings to the professor. The Master decides to take a break and makes some tea. He puts a cup in front of the professor and begins to pour. He fills the cup all the way and then continues to pour. The cup overflows, but the Master keeps pouring, Finally, the professor can not hold back and blurts out, ‘Stop, the cup is full and can not take anymore tea.' The Zen Master looks at the professor and says, ‘like this cup, you are so full of knowledge that you can not accept anymore. Only if you empty your cup can I teach you anything.'
How often do we as people seek out knowledge but then remain un-teachable by our preconceived ideas? How often do we go to a class but then try to show the teacher how much we know rather then just learning what he has to offer? How often are we in a conversation with someone but rather than really hearing and understanding what they have to say we care much more about getting the other person to understand us.
Habit number four in ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen Covey is ‘seek first to understand, then to be understood.' This is an amazingly powerful principle for interacting with others, and the most powerful way to do it is to empty your cup.
Having a truly empty mind means staying in the moment. Don't think ahead to what's coming up or what you will say, and don't think behind to past experiences. Just be in the moment and watch your creativity and communication skills go through the roof.
Avish Parashar is a dynamic professional speaker who shows organizations and individuals how to get what they want using the Art and Science of improv comedy. He weaves together humorous stories, witty observations, and interactive exercises from improvisational comedy to get people laughing, learning, and motivated! Avish is most commonly called upon to deliver programs on Motivation, Sales, and Communication
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