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The Key to Communication: Let Go of Control

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In improv comedy, the worst thing a performer can do is to try to control everything around them. There is so much going on during a performance that it would be impossible to control everything, and yet people do try. This same principle applies to any group endeavor.

Fundamentally, the key to effective communication and teamwork is control sharing. Control is at the heart of why some teams work wonderfully well together while others flounder. The premise behind teamwork is that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. One person working alone will come up with a series of ideas. Introduce a second person, and you get a second set of ideas. However, some new ideas will also emerge only after one person hears something that the other person says. As a result, you get a third set of ideas that neither person would have come up with alone. The only way to find that third set of ideas, however, is for each person to let go of their first set and be willing to work together. This is where control becomes vitally important. If one person is unwilling to let go of an idea, then no matter what ideas the second person brings up, the first person will never explore it and discover that critical third set.

Control is a tricky thing. While the degree of desire varies, people like to be in control. Willingly relinquishing control is a scary thing. This is what a person must do when he or she lets go of an idea – give up the control they have by virtue of the fact that it is their idea. Even though relinquishing control is scary, it is vital for a strong team.

Trust and self-confidence are very important here. For me to give up control to you, I need to trust you to be able to do something good with that control. I also need to believe that no matter how much control I give up now I will have the resources to contribute and follow along with the new ideas.

Look at a shared experience team building event where participants are forced to work together to achieve a goal (build a pyramid, vote together, pass something down a line, etc). Even if the game is designed in such a fashion that each member must contribute, the concept of control is rarely introduced. Usually, one or two ‘Alpha', or ‘Type A' personalities will take charge and dictate how the task should be done. Everyone participates (kind of), has fun (sort of), and learns that they can work together (maybe). They do not, however, learn the personal skills that's going to allow them to maximize their teamwork back at work.

On an improv comedy stage, the performers who relinquish control always manage to get their input in and are the ones best received by the audience. They are also the performers that everyone else enjoys working with, because by giving up the control they help everyone else look good.

Can you imagine what a business team would be like if everyone's goal was to help each other look good? That would be a strong team indeed…


Avish Parashar is a dynamic professional speaker who shows organizations and individuals how to get what they want using the Art and Science of improv comedy. He weaves together humorous stories, witty observations, and interactive exercises from improvisational comedy to get people laughing, learning, and motivated! Avish is most commonly called upon to deliver programs on Motivation, Sales, and Communication

For more free articles, downloads, and resources, visit http://www.AvishParashar.com

To learn how to apply the powerful principles of improv comedy to your own business or life visit http://www.ImprovforEveryone.com

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