Improve Your Communication By Simply Paying Attention
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The simplest, fastest, and best way to work with someone and make them feel valued is to pay attention to them. Sound too simple? Read on!
I have seen it hundreds of time during improv comedy performances. An improviser has so much to worry about – his character, the set (which is usually imaginary, so he needs to keep track of it in his head), how to be funny, the rules of the game, the audience, etc – that he quickly forgets to pay attention to the other performers on stage. Even though the other performers are the only help he has, they are the first to go out of his mind. This results in disjointed and unfunny improv.
This same situation occurs off the stage. Have you ever been talking to somebody at a party? Do you focus entirely on the person you are speaking with or does your attention keep jumping around the room to all the other people there. Generally, if the person is someone you really want to talk to (a good friend, key business contact, potential relationship, etc) you will focus on them. Most other people will only get about half of your attention.
You may think that this is ok, because if you don't really want to talk to them then what does it matter if you don't give them your full attention? Consider two things. First, you may just not realize the benefit of that conversation. If you are at a networking meeting and you hope to meet the CEO of Company X but you end up talking to someone who has a low-level job at a different company, then you may let your attention wander as you speak to him. But maybe you don't realize that this person has already met the CEO and could introduce you. Do you think he will do that if he feels you don't really care about speaking to him? This doesn't mean you need to spend the entire time talking to him. Five or ten minutes of real attentive conversation can be worth 30 minutes to an hour of partial attention interaction.
Second, whether you want to speak to someone changes based on the situation. You can love your spouse, but if he or she tries to talk to you while you are watching something you like on TV, where is your attention going? Make your own decision, but if you want them to feel valued, give them your 100% attention. The nice thing is that in many cases you can give them your attention for a few minutes and then return to what you were doing. You miss very little, they feel valued, and all is good.
The first step is awareness. Next time you are talking to somebody, try to see where your attention is going. If it's not on them, get it back!
Avish Parashar is a dynamic professional speaker who shows organizations and individuals how to get what they want using the Art and Science of improv comedy. He weaves together humorous stories, witty observations, and interactive exercises from improvisational comedy to get people laughing, learning, and motivated! Avish is most commonly called upon to deliver programs on Motivation, Sales, and Communication
For more free articles, downloads, and resources, visit http://www.AvishParashar.com
To learn how to apply the powerful principles of improv comedy to your own business or life visit http://www.ImprovforEveryone.com
