What if the chaos and uncertainty in your life could become the very fuel that propels you forward?
In this episode, resilience and adaptability expert Kim Becking shares her powerful Unstoppable Momentum™ framework for navigating change with grit, grace, and purpose. A stage-3 breast cancer survivor, former attorney, and bestselling author, Kim brings real-world experience and deep research to the conversation—showing how to stop, shift, and reframe challenges into catalysts for growth.
You’ll learn:
Why acknowledging your emotions is the first step to building real resilience
How to rewire your inner critic (say hello to “Edna”) and reframe failure
Simple “next-best step” strategies to overcome overwhelm and sustain momentum
Kim also introduces her most-requested tool: the You Are Allowed card—a mindset-shifting practice that’s reached over 750,000 people. Whether you're leading a team through change or trying to regain your own footing, this episode is packed with actionable insights to help you move forward—stronger than before.
Resources from This Episode
Kim Becking’s Official Website
https://www.kimbecking.comConnect with Kim on LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimbecking
Follow Kim for more insights on resilience, leadership, and momentum.
Unedited Transcript
Avish Parashar
Hello, Kim, and welcome to the podcast. How are you?
Kim Becking
I'm great. How are you?
Avish Parashar
I am doing fantastic and I am very much looking forward to this conversation, mostly because you are. You just bring so much positive energy every time I see you doing anything, which I think is part of your brand. So I'm super excited to bring that to the podcast. So for that, you know, I've been familiar with you and we've chatted before, but for people who don't know you, could you just kind of give us the one minute Kim Becking story, just a quick overview of kind of what you do and a brief little bit about how you got here?
Kim Becking
Yeah, absolutely. I'm a keynote speaker, change and resilience expert, and really focus on igniting unstoppable momentum in this rapidly changing world that never slows down, how you can really harness the power of adaptability and resilience and mindset, no matter what. So I have a lot of experience myself with resilience and adaptability. So I'm a recovering attorney, I'm a recovering, Hallelujah, recovering public affairs consultant, and really got my start in speaking 23 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 30. And since that time, you know, stage three, very aggressive, and then wrote a book with three other young women about our experience, experience. And then that just kind of catapulted into speaking and training. And then separately I had a communications company and so really have been focusing full time on speaking and really research around change and resilience and adaptability over the last eight, nine years.
And I'm a mom of three, so blended family, divorced and remarried a widower 13 years ago. So blending.
Blending while mending. As I say, Jack and Adelaide were three and five when their mom passed away. And then I came along three years later, and so we just became empty nesters. I've also been in the midst of caregiving. So, yeah, you know, resilience in action. That's why.
Avish Parashar
There you go. You've had a lot of. A lot of opportunity to practice your adaptability, it seems like.
Well, where to begin? Let's start with the first thing you mentioned, which is kind of your current work. So you just kind of threw out there that I help people build unstoppable momentum. So that's, from what I gather, that's kind of your brand, your speaking topic. So why don't we start with a broad question. When you say unstoppable momentum, what do you mean by that? What does that look like?
Kim Becking
Unstoppable momentum really means using any change or any challenge that you may be experiencing. Right. As the catalyst to not just bounce back. Because a lot of people talk about bouncing back after adversity, after change, after hard, but about balancing forward, stronger and better than before. So it's really focusing forward no matter what, and really being able to adapt and be that resilient leader, that resilient human in this world of what I call so muchness, where things aren't going to slow down. Right. We're not going back to normal.
There is no normal or new normal. There's only what is now and what is next. How can you continue to show up as your best self and build sustainable resilience in this world of chaos that we're in?
Avish Parashar
And I love that. And I got to bring some of these things up to because as I was going through your material, I'm like, wow, we talk about the same thing. So I need to mention a few of my points of view just to make sure that after the fact, you don't think I'm stealing all your content. But it's funny. I've been talking about. Because my background is in it. It started in improv comedy.
Kim Becking
Yes. And. Which is so important. Yes.
Avish Parashar
And. And I've said something very similar to you. Like, I like how you say it.
Like, bounce forward. Not you're not bouncing back, you're bouncing forward. And what I talk about is when ding happens, which is this kind of brand around this ding game, it's like, yeah, you think better, not back. Because so many people say, how do we just go back to the way we were doing things? Or how. It's like, no, how do we make the new reality even better than the old one? Which sounds like a lot of what.
So let's just say you're working with a client going through a change. How do you kind of get them to this place? Does it start with mindset? Does it start with tactics? Does it start, like, how do you kind of work with a group to get them to that place?
Kim Becking
Yeah. So, you know, all of my work is rooted in positive psychology, emotional intelligence, and years of research. And so I really meet them where they are and take them through my unstoppable momentum framework. So we start with the start stop. Right? So we're going to get to the mindset shift. But first you have to stop.
You have to feel what you need to feel and do what you need to do in this moment. And I use a tool that I have been using actually for 23 years.
Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. But it's called the I am allowed tool. When I was diagnosed with my cancer 23 years ago, I had a good friend, Patty. She was the only reason I found my lump. She gave me a simple two sided handwritten card that I still have in my desk to this day. And so I pull this out on those hard days, on those days where there are changes, there are challenges, there are obstacles. And I've been sharing this with leaders and teams now for decades.
And it's all about giving yourself that permission and that grace in this moment to feel what you need to feel. And I won't share all the words with you. I'll be happy to share a link that you can share with your listeners. But you know, it's. You are allowed to be sad, to feel overwhelmed, to. To be anxious, to feel out of control, to be afraid, to feel like no one can relate, to wonder what if. To feel behind, to long for simple things and simple times, to wish for more.
But on the flip side, you turn the card over and it says you are allowed to find the good. To be grateful, to be excited, to realize you are stronger than you ever thought. To realize you are not alone, to find joy, to be surrounded by people who care, to find your grit, to give yourself grace, to find the opportunity to do what you can, to learn to ask for help, to make a difference, to be you. Which side of the card are you on today? Our emotions are not mutually exclusive. For many of us, we're on both sides of the card at the same time. Especially when you're going through so much change and challenge and uncertainty right now in this moment, in our, in our world, in our own lives, in our workplaces, at home, in the world at large.
And so how can you use this as a tool? And then I share really with my leaders. How can you not only use this for yourself and where you're at right now in this moment, but how can you also meet those around you where they are? Because you may be on this side of the card and they may be on this side of the card. And so how can you learn to meet them where they are? So that, so I really start with the stop, right? To give yourself that permission and grace to do what you need to do.
And then the only then is when, right? That self awareness which is critical, that then that's the only time you can then truly shift, right? So then we talk about the shift. The shift, right, is all about turning.
Avish Parashar
Those before we get to the shift can we, can we talk a little more about the stuff? So I love this. It's funny. One thing I learned as an improv performer is the power of emotion and how as an improviser I realized, oh, I just, I'm not going to get into the, the theater aspect of it. But like, I didn't need to think of something funny or clever, I just needed to have a emotion. Because what I say that in my keynotes is emotion drives content and how you feel drives what you think, which then leads to what you say and do. And so many, I think, people, I don't know if you've experienced this, but I feel like historically we're taught somewhere along the way, whether it's overt or subconsciously, we're taught, like to leave emotions at the door.
Like, emotions have no place here, but at the end of the day, we're all just emotions. And I'm curious, you know, you mentioned positive psychology and research and all that. Did you find like, did this just ideas you got from anecdotally, from observation, or was there research around, like this idea of, of allowing and emotion, you know, before we get into mindset shifting and whatnot?
Kim Becking
Oh, no, absolutely. There is research behind this and a part of it now is also applying this in the workplace. Because the way we work now is not the way we worked 25 years ago. And so it's a new model. And you know, I had these conversations with my own dad who was taught, you know, check the emotions at the door. Also, by the way, don't talk about your personal life at work, right? And the world, and the world we're in is not that.
And so how can we learn to use that self awareness with our emotions, right? Because at a time, by the way, when stress is at an all time high, burnout is at an all time high, loneliness is an epidemic. We're all having to adapt in real time to this so muchness coming at us from every different direction. And right now, it doesn't matter who I'm talking to, whether it's a CEO at a Fortune 50 company or frontline worker, everybody's exhausted, tired and overwhelmed, right? And at a time when mental health and mental well being is an issue, and so how can we as individuals, as humans, as leaders, right, give ourselves the permission to feel it all right now, in this moment, and then be able to also show up with that vulnerability, with that compassion, with that empathy, with creating that psychological safety for those we lead to be able to say, you know what, I'm not Okay. Or this change is really hard. And, and I was on this side of the card as a leader, but hey, I've had time to process it.
Now I'm over here. But my whole team, they still might be here. And so, yeah, you know, it's.
Avish Parashar
Well, I know you mentioned you're an empty nester now. Just, just recently, like just in the last week or so. And I don't know if you feel this way, not me, maybe you thinking back to when your kids were younger. I am so good at teaching this stuff to other people. I'm very good at applying this stuff professionally. And my hardest cases and best practice are with my, with my children. Because you are, you are allowed.
And my wife is very good about this, so I'm working on it myself. But when my kids start getting really emotional about something and I want part of my, you know, my upbringing, I want to be like, just like, you're whining about nothing. Shut up. You know, it's like, I don't say that because I think I'm like, like, hey, it's okay. You're allowed to be sad, you know, your team lost the game or you lost, you know, whatever. And it's. I don't know if you find that as well because it's a great time to practice, but it's almost infinitely harder when you're talking about personal relationships than, than professional.
Kim Becking
Oh, a hundred percent. One hundred percent. And, and I think a part of that is also, you know, it's easy sometimes for us to also compare our hearts or our challenges. So for your kids, and maybe they didn't win that game, you know, that could be the hardest thing they've ever gone through yet. Right? So to them that is hard. To you, you know, it's gonna all be fine.
And it's teaching them grit and it's not that big of a deal, but we can't say those things, right? We have to, we have to allow them to feel they're hard. But we, but we also can't let the hardened life harden us. And so how can you really meet them where they are and give them that safe space to express those emotions, right? To give themselves that grace, to have that self awareness, to sit with them on the floor if you need to, and then right then you can shift. But you have to meet them where they are in the moment first. Otherwise it's not sustainable and you won't truly be able to have that mindset shift.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. And that's great. I was thinking about as you were Talking. I just love this idea of allowed. Like you are allowed saying it to yourself, saying it to other. And I was thinking like, wow, that's great. And then I realized one of the reasons I like it so much is that is essentially saying yes.
And it's when these feelings come up on us or others, we. The natural reaction be like, oh, yeah, but I shouldn't feel this way. Or, yeah, but I got to just do it. But just that simple shift. Like, yeah, and it's okay. And like, and you got to process it. But so.
So that might explain why I so resonate.
Kim Becking
Yeah, I love that.
Avish Parashar
All right, great. So that's the first step. You pause, you allow, you give yourself a little space and grace, and then you move on to step two of the framework, which I believe was shift.
Kim Becking
Yeah. The shift is all about turning those obstacles into opportunity. What I call momentum busters. What are those things holding you back? What are those things keeping you stuck? And how do you really turn those obstacles into opportunity, that fear into fuel, and that resistance, which is normal and natural, right? Not only into buy in, but into ownership and into driving that change.
You know, we're wired to resist change. We're wired for negativity.
50 to 70,000 thoughts a day. How many of those are negative versus positive? And then, by the way, we're also wired for certainty. So in the world that we're in, our inner voice up here, I call mine Edna. It's our inner bully, right? They get really loud during change. They get really loud during uncertainty.
And so how can we start shifting, right? And really looking at these things as that opportunity? What can that. What I call building that momentum? Mindset. It's like a growth mindset on jet fuel. Right? And how can we continue to focus forward?
This is where we dig deep and find our grit, because we got to have the grace, but the grit is what allows us to keep moving forward. And so when you reframe, right, it's really reframing your words, your thoughts, your actions, your attitude. It takes practice, like you said, right. It was harder to do with your kids in your personal life versus at work. And so for many of us, we have to retrain our brains and we have to really start shifting literally the way. Right, right. The way it's always been done. Right. I even.
I even talk about this. This is the way it's always right, right. Been. It's. It's never been done before. We've already tried that, or I can or we can't do that. How do we Start shifting those.
How do we start getting curious how we start really focusing on what's possible? Well, we have to shut down Edna first. Right. That's the first step.
The fear, the excuses. Right. And one of the biggest fears is fear of failure. Because when you're going through change, when you're going through uncertainty, right. We're afraid we're not going to get it. Right. And as.
And particularly as leaders, to not have all the answers, to not know how it's going to turn out. And so we have to start giving ourselves permission to start shifting that mindset, to even see how we look at fear in a different way and look at fear as an opportunity. You know, I have clients and we build up failure walls where they share key ways that they've failed and what they learned from them. And it has given everyone within those organizations permission to try something new, permission to think. Not only think outside the box, but do away with the box. To really. To your point. Right. I talk about the yet effect. Right. We haven't been able to do it yet, but it's similar to your. Yes. And. And so how can we really start shifting the way we're seeing that fear and that fear of failure?
You know, for my New York Times bestselling book, I got 55 rejection letters from publishers.
Avish Parashar
Did you really?
Kim Becking
Yeah. I didn't stop at 10 or 20 or 30 or 40. I moved. Right. I didn't stop because of the fear.
I moved because of my purpose. So we have to stay rooted and grounded in our why and our purpose.
That's what allows us to truly. Right.
Avish Parashar
Well, I talk about that because I talk about this as well a little bit, you know, overcoming the fear of failure and, you know, keep going and things like that and reframing. But it is. It is the most common thing in the world for people to say yes, but to themselves to resist. So what are some small steps that you would recommend? Like an individual start. I know you said, like for a team, you know, they've got the leader can, like, you're at the failure wall. But like, for an individual who's listening to this and is like, oh, yeah, I'm going through these changes, but I always shut myself down.
What are some basic steps someone can take to really start making the shift?
Kim Becking
A part of that is, again, it's the retrain of your brain. So it's looking at. Instead of saying, you know, and you. And you, you use this. Right? Right. Yes. And because we all say yes, but. Right. We look for the negative.
We are Trained to look for the negative. How do we start shifting that? I always say we got, you know. Yes, but we all got big buts and we cannot lie. Right? The great poet. But it shifts when you shift to yes.
And when you shift to write the power of yet anything is possible. And so I think it's starting to retrain our brain and take those small steps and really look at, you know, make a list like, what are the things you're saying during the day that are limiting your thoughts and your beliefs? What are those for you? How can you start shifting that? What if this works out? Right? Because again, we all catastrophize.
We all go to worst case scenario. We're trained to do that. How can you start shifting that to say, the next time you have that thought, say, what if this does work out? Or what's the best that could happen? What could that look like? How can you start reimagining what that fear of so called failure looks like? Heck, also, you know, make a list.
I made a list of all the ways I failed in my life. And it's a long list and I keep adding to it. And what I have learned, right? Every season, single failure has taught me something. Every single failure has allowed me to grow. So what could that look like for you?
What could that look like? And we have to get curious.
Avish Parashar
You know, I would also think that making that list of failures is if this is something you're new at, there's probably a lot of lessons in there you have not yet acknowledged. But when you do, then you that starts reframing it. So if you've been doing this a long time, you can say, oh, here's what I learned. But you know, maybe you look back and like, oh, that was a big failure. Well, what did you learn? And now all of a sudden it shifts how you think about it.
Kim Becking
Well, and often we're not even giving ourselves the space to reflect or the space to think. I mean, even in our day to day, you know, part of, also part of the so muchness is right when you're dealing with change, often there are new things you're doing or new things you're adding to your list. And right now, again, it doesn't matter who I'm talking to, Everybody is also overwhelmed by too much to do and not enough time. And so, right, we're recharging our phones more than we're recharging ourselves. And in the world we're in, you have to start building that sustainable resilience. Because resilience we get it all wrong. Like we think as a part of dealing with change and uncertainty.
Oh, we just got to power through and push through at all costs. And that's not what resilience means in this rapidly changing world. It's how can you refresh and refuel yourself so that you can continue to build that momentum? What does that look like for you? But often, right, we have Edna. She's not given us permission. Name your inner bully, it takes away their power.
So what would yours be? But really start, start shifting. Right. How we see those things.
Avish Parashar
Well, on a side note, I've played around it. I haven't named my inner bully, but I've been playing around with calling it my yes, butthead.
Kim Becking
I love that. I love that. Yeah. Well, mine is Edna because Edna was my high school guidance counselor who told me I wasn't college material because no one else in my family had been to college. And I was so excited. This was my big dream. I wanted to go to college and she had labeled me.
So I went to college. I went to law school.
I sent Ms. Farmer an invitation on my law school graduation and she didn't come.
She since retired. But I learned years later I wasn't the only one she told that to. And their paths were very different because they didn't have the belief in themselves because they had Edna up here. Right. Or they didn't have the belief of others. So how we show up, our mindset matters, our actions matter for ourselves and for those that, that are around us, whether it's at home or whether it's in life and leadership.
Avish Parashar
Yeah, I know you talk, you do a lot of leadership type work talking to leaders. And one thing I say to them is, you know, it's, it's such a responsibility. We so many leaders think it is a burden. But like, you probably have a greater impact on the quality of life of your employees than even, even their family because they're with you for eight hours a day. Like, my wife had a terrible principal back when she was at this other school and it just made her so miserable. And it is just like you said, like these little things, you know, Edna, I guess in her mind maybe thought she was doing you a favor by trying to guide you down a more successful path. But it is amazing how just the words can just have such a dramatic.
And you were fortunate to be resilient, to not give in to what you said.
Kim Becking
Well, because my mom told me you are always going to have those people and you get to decide. Right. So my mom was that was that person for me? Because sometimes we have to borrow the belief of others when we don't. Don't believe in ourselves, especially when you're going through change or new things or challenges or obstacles. And so, you know, she told me I could do it because I wasn't even sure I could do it because Ms. Farmer had told me I could. So. But now I get to shut Ms. Farmer down.
Edna all the time.
Avish Parashar
I love it. Well, let me ask on a side note, building off of that, I don't. I don't know if you had this experience, but we're both involved in nsa National Speakers Association. Awesome organization. Great people.
So much great. But I had the experience in my early days. Multiple people, some who were even, like, very successful, like, marketing speakers tell me straight up, you got to take improv off of your marketing. And they had good, logical reasons why. They're like, no one's going to bring you. And no one wants for people. And I did, because their experience kind of like the Edna thing.
I followed what they said and nothing worked for me. And like, two or three years later, I'm like, you know what? I'm failing anyways. I may as well fail doing what I really want to do. And so the more I leaned into that, the better things got. And it's so hard to discern, though, especially when you're young or new at something and impressionable, like, kind of.
How do you balance that? Like, where do you develop that sense of, like, being willing to go against this experienced person or older person.
Kim Becking
Yeah. And I think a part of that is going back to who you are and going back to your own authenticity and your own core values. I was also told, by the way, I shouldn't ever talk about my cancer as a speaker.
Avish Parashar
What? I. I feel almost sad I don't have a cancer.
Kim Becking
No, no, no, no, no. There's no comparison. Right. We can't compare.
Avish Parashar
Well, I'm kidding. But it's like, it's. You don't have that.
Kim Becking
Right. But. But it's. But I had. I had to really go back to who I am and what I teach.
And for me, right. Like, I have a lot of weird, eclectic backgrounds. Right. I mean, I'm a. I used to be in politics and public affairs. I'm a recovering attorney. Right. I have a marketing and communications background.
Like, I've worn, like, all of these different hats. And so I'm much more than one thing. And so for me, I had to really lean in and listen to myself. Self shut Edna down.
Avish Parashar
Yep.
Kim Becking
Say Right. What is everything that I have learned by working with organizations, by working with leaders, by working at all levels in a lot of different industries, plus my own research. Right. And. And other things, you know, what is it that is uniquely mine that can help move the needle for others? And it really was that resilience, that adaptability, that mindset, that to know that anything is possible and you have to focus forward. And I think right now what we're seeing is, I mean, things are changing at a more rapid pace than we've ever seen before. Right. And so, yes, and is needed now more than ever.
Unstoppable momentum is needed now more than ever in this world of chaos. Because. And it's not just chaos at work, it's chaos in life, it's chaos at home. It's the overwhelm. You know, I actually, when I'm working with clients, I do surveys where we send out a survey ahead of time to their leaders and ask them, like, what are the challenges that you're facing right now? And it's not just stuff happening at work, it's stuff happening in life. Right? It's your kids.
I mean, you have three little ones, right? It's your kids. It's aging parents like me taking care of my aging parents right now for the last 10 years, which has been one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's trying to wear all the hats and. Right. That meeting that, you know, you know, back to back to back things and recharging your phone more than you're recharging yourself. And it's not sustainable.
Our bodies and our brains were not made for this world that we're in. And so how can we really start to shift and then reframe and really focus on what matters most in this moment?
Avish Parashar
But I think this kind of comes back to your first step in the process of the pausing and allowing. And I think even one of your things on your list was like, I allow my uniqueness, right. Or allow myself to express. Which kind of goes back to like, knowing who you are authentically. But when you're just running around, constantly chasing, you never have time to identify that.
Kim Becking
And sometimes, you know, momentum. And everyone's like, kim, you talk about momentum and you're telling people to stop and pause and rest and refuel. And I'm like, yeah, because I've seen what happens when you do, and I've seen what happens when you don't. And I got it wrong. In my first business, so I had a public affairs and communications company and I was go, go, go, do, do, do, never rest. And I burned out and it's not sustainable. And so right now I'm building my business around what I want my life to be and what does that look like for me? And you know, one of the biggest things that I hear from so many leaders, they're not even taking a 10 minute break in between meetings to go to the bathroom, to get a drink of water, to say, here's what I just covered in that meeting.
Here's what I have coming up, you know, to even think about how this change is going to affect their organization. There's no white space on calendars. You know, we're all going from back to back to back things with no room to breathe, no margin at all from a time and energy perspective. And it's not sustainable. And we're starting to see a lot of that now.
Avish Parashar
Yeah, absolutely. I'm seeing the very similar things as well. So let's move on to the third one then. So we've, you know, we've been kind of talking, which is great, still in the framework. So we've got stop shift and then the third step is reframe.
Kim Becking
Reframe. Yeah. And the reframe is all about what do I need to, to do, what is the next move for me, even when I don't have the, all the answers, even when I don't have it all figured out, because none of us really do. And if anyone tells you that, they're probably lying to you. And, and that starts, right, with your why and your purpose. Because that keeps you planted on the hard days. Like, like really understanding what is my why, what is my purpose.
And then from there it is rooted in connection, collaboration, community. Right. Like really meeting others where they are, making sure you have the support that you need as an individual or as a leader. And this is not just for leaders, like I said at work, this is in life. Like, we all need each other. If nothing else, the last, you know, five, six years have taught us we all need each other.
Avish Parashar
Yeah.
Kim Becking
And. Right. And the Surgeon General has declared loneliness an epidemic. But at our core, right? And we're also in this world where there's so much negativity, there's so much polarization. I had a client, it's like she was like. It's like we're navigating the new angry. Right? And so you have all of that.
But yet at our core, we all want, we all have a lot more in common than we realize. We all want to feel valued, seen, heard, appreciated. Loved. So how can we as leaders, especially when going through change and uncertainty, how can we make those around us feel like that? And in a world where we also have five different generations, everybody's motivated by different things. Everybody communicates in different ways. And so I really dive into, what does that look like for you and your team?
And then what else does it take to truly reframe? And what else does it take is really then all about again, going back to what you're giving yourself permission to do. You're giving yourself permission to show gratitude, celebrate, to find joy and laughter and hope. And hope is such a key. Right. And there's a lot of research that has come out from Gallup and others, McKinsey, on the power of hope, especially right now. And hope during uncertain times, during change within an organization or even within your own life or the world that we're in, hope allows you to keep moving forward, even when you don't have all the answers.
But hope is also a rallying cry for those around you as a leader. When those around you, when those employees feel like they are enthusiastic and excited about the future and about where their organization is headed or these changes and understanding the why behind them, they are 69 times more likely to be engaged and to be excited and hopeful about the future and about this change and what this could mean for them. And so how can you use hope in that way?
What does that look like? So we dive deep into that and I share stories, but right now, and there's even new research that's coming out recently about, right. That hope is a key leadership strategy right now. Right. And what we're talking about. And you know this because you work with leaders and really focusing on that mindset and that. Yes. And during change, all of the things that we're talking about right now are no longer soft skills.
You know, back a long time ago, people like, oh, these are soft skills. In the world that we are in right now, the organizations that are going to continue to move forward, like, and have that competitive advantage are rooted in, right. Adaptability and mindset and right. Hope and that collaboration, that connection and that community, all of those things collectively allow you to move forward and, you know, and to bring it back, right? That the reframe, to bring it back to the. To the stop. You know, six years ago, I would have CEOs call me.
They'd be like, kim, we want you to come. We want you to talk about change. And, you know, our people are struggling, they're overwhelmed, but we don't want you to talk about emotions. We don't want you to talk about feelings. Right. But now, fast forward, those same CEOs are calling, and they're actually saying, kim, we were wrong. They're like, our people need it, and I need it now more than ever.
And so there's been a shift. There's been a recognition that. Yeah. That emotional intelligence and emotional agility and feeling what we need to feel is important, especially right now. And so, you know, that's in all of that collectively, the stop, the shift, the refrain, that's what allows you to keep moving forward. But that hope alone isn't enough. Right. Like, it has to be followed by action.
So we want you to take action. That is that piece where. And sometimes taking action is no action. It's just feeling what you need to feel. But it's. What is the next best step you need to take to keep moving forward?
What is that?
Avish Parashar
And I love. You had mentioned that at the beginning, and you mentioned that now at the beginning of reframe. Is this, like, the one next step? Right. I talk about that with improv. And it's like, in improv, anytime someone tries to have it all figured out before they start, like, it fails utterly. It's like, no, all you can focus on is, what's the next line?
I'm going to say, what's the next action I'm going to take? Um. And it's such a powerful way to get moving. And then to have that adaptability is like, all right, well, let me just take one step and see what happens. And then. But not like, I. You know, I see so many people want to have it all figured out before they even start to try to do something.
Kim Becking
Yeah. Well, and if you focus on all the things, then you get immediately overwhelmed.
Avish Parashar
Yeah.
Kim Becking
So what is the next best step you can take? You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to keep moving forward. And you're gonna fall, you're gonna fail, you're gonna stumble, you're gonna make mistakes. Massive mistakes.
Like, I've made massive mistakes. And I call that feed forward, not feedback. Right.
Avish Parashar
Yeah.
Kim Becking
To keep moving forward.
Avish Parashar
Let me ask, is it by any chance, are you a fan of fantasy novels?
Kim Becking
I am not a big fan.
Avish Parashar
It just is one quote in a book I read that. It's a very famous quote. And I just came across my social media. This. This book about the Stormlight Archive, where the whole thing is. The. The one character is, like, asked from some voice, like, what's the most important step?
Kim Becking
Yeah.
Avish Parashar
And, you know, he thinks the answer is the first step. And then, like, the big revelation is like, no, the answer is the next step. Next step, and then the next step after that, and then the next step after that. And it's like, oh, yeah, just. Just one foot. You just. And that's the.
The, like, what will. How did you.
You phrase it? In a way I really like, oh, grid up.
Don't give up. Like, yes. Just.
Kim Becking
We have to have that grit. But then we also have to remember the grit without the grace is not sustainable. Like, we have to have both of them. And so, you know, you've got to still feel what you need to feel, do what you need to do, take that break, you know, break down, you know, feel whatever it is you need to feel. But then you got to keep moving forward. Right. That. That grit, that knowing, like, I'm going to do this or collectively. Right. It's like the yet effect, which is basically, it hasn't been done yet, but if anyone can do it, it's me.
Or collectively, if you're talking about a team. Right. It's us. Like, we can do this.
We've got this. What could that look like? And to do that, you have to shift that mindset and really then keep moving.
Avish Parashar
Yeah, I love that because it's very similar to something I talk about, the idea of setting impossible goals, which are like, things that you don't know how you're going to achieve, because while smart goals are great, they're all very logical, and they don't really, like, access your creativity or stir the stole. And so I love this idea about, like, oh, like, no one's done it yet, but we can be the people to do that. I feel that that's not just a reframe, but that's almost like a. An inspiration.
Like, it gets people fired up again.
Kim Becking
Yeah.
Avish Parashar
Versus just going through the motions. All right, let's. Let's just. Let's. Let's try to increase revenue by 10% this quarter.
It's like, no. What's. What. No one's done it. Awesome. Let's figure it out. Can be.
Can be fun if it's the right thing.
Kim Becking
Right? Right.
Avish Parashar
So that's the unstoppable momentum framework.
Kim Becking
Yeah.
Avish Parashar
Before we kind of move to close, I did want to just kind of chat a little bit about your. Your story, because you've done so many little things different. Little different things that you've adapted to and just want to dig a little bit deeper and learn a little bit more. So you had mentioned You're a breast cancer survivor, and that's sort of what kick started your whole journey.
So you were. Which of your jobs were you working when that all happened? Were you the lawyer? Were you the business owner?
Kim Becking
No, I actually. So between the. The law and me being a business owner, I actually worked in government. So I was working for the mayor in Kansas City, Missouri, and he's not congressman, but so I was working there and found my lump because of my good friend Patty. And, um, I was stage three, pretty aggressive and caught it early. My son was just turning 2. And, you know, at the time, we were being dismissed by our doctors.
Come back in six months, come back in a year, let's watch that lump. Our mortality rates were a lot higher. There weren't a lot of, you know, there wasn't a lot of research happening on young women. And so I really became that advocate because I knew the local media. And then I, you know, started meeting with three other young women about our experience. We then decided to write the book. The book then took off, and then I became a patient advocate.
So, so early on, my speaking, it was really my missionary work. And I just want to help people make an impact in this way. And then I realized years later I had people like, because I had my. Then I left the city government and started my own business. And then I had people start asking, well, can we hire you to come speak and work with our people? And I'm like, I didn't even know speaking was an industry. I had not found the National Speakers association yet, and I had not met other professional speakers.
And so then that then kind of started that journey of really diving deeper and then developing. Right. Not just my keynotes, but also then the business side of speaking and the processes and the same thing I had done in my other business. And so over the years, it's evolved. And then in 2017, 18, I got tired of having the other public affairs communications company, and so I let go of my last big retainer client. And that's then when I went full time and speaking. So I. Right. So like I had been doing it on the side, 20 to 25 speaking engagements a year for many years, but then also was doing leadership development and communications and public involvement and public affairs work and just decided I wanted to really see what was possible.
You know, I'd been blending while mending. The kids were older.
And so I. I invested in myself, I did the work. I got better, not only on stage, but on the business side. And then really the brand has continued to evolve. And then has just, you know, really taken off.
Avish Parashar
So that's great. And so were you always a. A person with great grit and resilience and adaptability, or do you feel like you kind of had to develop that as you went through all of this?
Kim Becking
I think it's twofold. I think it's both. It's both and. Right, yeah. So it's yes, and it's both because I think I had that. But, you know, resilience can also be taught and learned. And how you get better is by having those challenges and having those struggles or even failing or having those setbacks, perhaps personally or as a leader.
And so for me, everything that I have done has gotten me to the point I'm at now. And I would say, you know, some of my biggest resilience lessons. Early on it was the cancer, and then it was business challenges, and then it was, you know, I was in politics when, you know, I was. I was told years ago by. By some men in the business, you shouldn't start your business. We'll cut you off at your knees. Right. Years ago. Right. So, like, I've been told no my whole life in certain ways.
Like it started with Edna. Right. But how many of us have failed?
We've all failed. We've all been told no. And we get to decide what happens next and we get to choose that we have the power. Even when it feels like everything's out of our control right now, we don't have the power to control anything. We can choose how we show up and we can choose to take action and we can take the next best step even when we don't have all the answers. So. Right. So it was that and it was law school and it was.
I mean, it was, you know, all of those challenges along the way and starting my. My first business with no clients. Right. Just hope that I can make a difference. And then the speaking business, when I let go of the other big. The big retainer client, you know, because I'd been doing speaking engagements, like 20 to 25 speaking engagements a year, kind of on the side, but it wasn't my full time.
Avish Parashar
Right, Right.
Kim Becking
And then I knew kind of after the kids got older and things were more settled as a blended family, I really want to see the biggest impact I can make with the time I have left. And so then I really started honing in and focusing not only on the craft. Right. And the stage and the storytelling and. And the keynotes and getting better, but also on my whole unstoppable momentum experience and How I show up for clients and the additional value and what that looks like and the consulting and all of the other pieces to really help serve them in an even bigger way.
Avish Parashar
I love that. And now you've got a new book coming out at some point in the near future, correct?
Kim Becking
Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah. I'm in the writing phase now, so we don't have a release date yet. So. But if you're interested, you can go to my website and sign up for updates there. But.
Avish Parashar
Oh, this is a perfect transition. We're going to finish up in just a moment here. I can ask you one final question before I get to that, since you already kind of started talking about go on your website if people want to learn more about you, about unstoppable mental, about booking you as a speaker, working with you, or potentially getting on your list to hear about the book when it comes out.
Kim Becking
I love your cat. What's your cat?
Avish Parashar
Your cat is on camera. I thought he was out when I closed the door, but he was not.
Kim Becking
What's his name?
Avish Parashar
This one is Pizza. We have another tuxedo cat named Pepper.
Kim Becking
So they are Pizza and Pepper. I love it.
Avish Parashar
Pizza and Pepper. So, yeah, we got this one first when my younger one, my wife took my younger one to pick him up. And so the woman there was like, oh, you can name him. So my son was like, we'll name him Pizza. So then when we got the second one, my older son was like, well, I get to name the second one. He was gonna name it Pepperoni, which then got shorted to Pepper. So there's a little side note, but we'll leave it in on the podcast in any case.
Kim Becking
Yes.
Avish Parashar
If people want.
Kim Becking
That's real life.
Avish Parashar
That's ding. That's real life. And hey, you know, it's, it's, it's authentic. But if people want to learn more about you and connect with you, what's the best way they can do that?
Kim Becking
Yeah, then go to my website, kimbecking.com or connect with me on social media. The other thing I will say on my website, if they go to the resources page or you can even put this in the show notes if you want as well. I have a PDF version of the URL card if anybody wants that. Feel free to take, take that. And, you know, I'll mention that too. So this is, this is one of my most requested tools.
And I shared. My friend Patty had given this to me. Well, Patty passed away at the age of 29 and her legacy lives on. This has now been passed out to over 750,000 people. So you think about each of us and how we show up in life and how we show up in this world that we're in where there's just a lot happening and how we show up when we're dealing with change and adversity and hard. And you never know the impact and the ripple that you can make. But it all starts with you and the choice that you're going to make and how you are showing up in this world.
Avish Parashar
Wow. That. That is amazing. I love thinking about that. The legacy, how it kind of continues on is really fantastic. So we'll put the link to the website and your socials and to the PDF that people can get in the show notes. So check those out.
Alright, so last question for you, Kim, and this is kind of how I try to finish all these episodes is I talk about this idea of saying yes and instead of yes, but because I honestly believe the world would be a better place if everyone just had a default mindset of yes and instead of yes but so what is one small thing that you believe if everyone just did this one small thing, it would make the world a better place.
Kim Becking
Do I need to use yes and no? No.
Avish Parashar
Anything at all? Just your own personal life. If everyone just did this one thing, the world would be a better place.
Kim Becking
To really meet others where they are in the moment and remember that our hearts can't be compared. Right. Don't compare our hearts. Meet others where they are, see them for who they are, show up in. In that way. Because the world needs more empathy and compassion and love right now.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. And just meeting them where they are is a perfect way to do that. So fantastic answer. Thank you for chatting. It was great learning more about you and then having you share your experience and wisdom and. Yeah, thank you very much and hopefully we'll do it again sometime.
Kim Becking
Sounds great. Thanks so much for having me.