Image Credit: madgooch
Your smartest employees are avoiding the change you need them to embrace. And it's not because they don't understand it.
I realized this when I caught myself doing the exact same thing last week at the National Speakers Association annual convention, spending time with fellow professional speakers who are brilliant, hilarious, and generous - and who seem to love something I dread:
Networking.
Now, I know what you're thinking:
"Avish, you're an improviser! You speak on stage! You tell jokes! How could you hate networking?"
Excellent question. I've asked myself the same thing. Many, many times.
I even had a long (and slightly boozy) conversation with my good friend Michael Goldberg, a networking expert whose entire business revolves around helping people connect more easily and more authentically.
Michael has always been baffled that I struggle with this. And to be fair, he's right; based on my background, I should be great at it.
But as I told him that night, this isn't a logic problem. It's an emotional one.
I know I should just walk up and introduce myself to new people. I know I probably won't die. I know it will likely go fine.
But in the moment, my brain doesn't care.
It's not that I don't have the skills. It's that I have a deeply rooted fear of disapproval, of awkwardness, of making someone feel interrupted or uncomfortable - and by extension, opening myself up to feeling embarrassed or rejected.
Michael kind of understood that. Kind of didn't. And I don't blame him - it's hard to truly grasp someone else's emotional wiring when you don't share it. (At this point, we were also two whiskeys into this debate.)
But later, as I reflected on it, I had a realization:
I'm being a hypocrite.
I go around telling people they can do improv comedy, even if they've never set foot on stage. I talk about saying "Yes, And" to fear. I preach the power of stepping outside your comfort zone…
…and yet here I am, letting my fear of networking run the show.
So I decided it's time to take my own medicine.
The Challenge of Change Leadership
This isn't just about networking. This is about the fundamental challenge every leader faces:
Getting people to embrace change they're resisting.
New technology rollouts, process improvements, cultural shifts, AI adoption, reorganizations - every meaningful change initiative meets resistance. And that resistance isn't about capability. It's about emotion.
McKinsey found that 70% of change initiatives fail, often because leaders focus on the logical case for change while completely underestimating the emotional component.
Your smartest people aren't avoiding that new system because they can't learn it. They're avoiding it because they're afraid of looking incompetent while they figure it out.
Your experienced managers aren't resisting the new processes because they don't see the value. They're resisting because change feels like criticism of how they've been doing things.
Whether you're navigating personal resistance (like my networking phobia) or leading organizational change, here are four strategies to help people move from resistance to embrace.
1. Start with Logic (The "Meh" Strategy)
We all start here.
You gather facts. You list pros and cons. You give yourself a pep talk. You explain to your team why this change is good, rational, and necessary.
You try to reason your way into action.
Michael was doing this all night - listing the many logical reasons I should be good at networking. And I agreed with every single one of them…
...and still didn't want to do it.
Because logic doesn't change behavior when fear, shame, or doubt are running the show.
Now to be clear: logic is not useless. It's just insufficient.
It's like trying to fix a leaky pipe by watching a YouTube video.
Use it. Just don't expect it to work on its own.
2. Go All In (The Deep Immersion Strategy)
This is the bold, fast, high-risk option.
In psychology, it's called exposure therapy. Throwing yourself into the deep end of the thing you fear, to rewire your brain.
For networking, this might mean going to a conference where you know no one and forcing yourself to meet 100 people in two days. You drown the fear in repetition.
It works. And fast! But it's also hard to sustain without external accountability. It's easy to set a goal… and then bail after person #3 when things feel awkward.
Improv classes are a great example. People who are terrified of public speaking will sign up for a class. They make the financial commitment. They show up every week. And because they're surrounded by a supportive instructor and classmates, they're nudged (or shoved) out of their comfort zone in a safe way.
If you're leading change, deep immersion can work with your team… but only if you already have psychological safety in place. Think major system rollouts with intensive training weeks, or culture change initiatives where everyone goes through the same intensive experience together.
The key is creating a shared experience - everyone goes through the discomfort together, which builds collective resilience. But if you force people into change without support, it can backfire catastrophically.
3. Take One Tiny Step (The Gentle Strategy)
This is the strategy I use most with change initiatives, and it's often the most sustainable.
Instead of rolling out the entire new system at once, pilot it with one department. Instead of changing all processes simultaneously, pick one workflow and perfect it first.
For teams resisting AI adoption, start with one simple use case. For culture change, focus on one small behavior shift before adding others.
It's the difference between cannonballing into organizational transformation vs. building momentum step by step.
But here's the key:
You must define success as taking the step, not achieving the result.
In the past, I've made the mistake of setting a small goal, taking the step… and then feeling silly that I didn't get a huge win from it. I dismissed the progress because it didn't lead to an immediate transformation.
That's a trap. One that kills momentum.
As a change leader, you can help your team avoid this trap too. Reward the behavior, not just the outcome. Celebrate the department that tries the new process, even if the initial results are mixed. Praise teams for engaging with training, not just for perfect implementation.
That's what builds sustainable change adoption.
4. Get Emotionally Honest (The Courageous Strategy)
Here's the part I've been avoiding - and the one that finally helped me start shifting:
I had to notice, name, and yield to what I was actually feeling.
Instead of judging myself for being afraid… Instead of getting annoyed that I "should be over this by now"… Instead of pretending it wasn't there…
…I had to acknowledge the truth:
I have a deep fear of disapproval. I crave being liked. I don't want to feel awkward.
It's not flattering. But it's real.
And as soon as I said it out loud, the fear lost some of its power.
This is where breakthrough happens in organizations, too.
The same principle applies to teams facing any kind of change. Until people can acknowledge their real concerns - not just their surface-level objections - they'll stay stuck in resistance patterns.
The fears are usually predictable: "What if we look incompetent while learning this?" "What if we can't keep up?" "What if we make expensive mistakes?" "What if this change means our experience doesn't matter anymore?"
But here's what I've learned: The moment leaders create space for people to voice these fears without judgment, the resistance starts to dissolve. Not because the fears disappear, but because they're no longer operating in the shadows.
That's the heart of the "Yield to What Is" principle - the first step of my YES AND Framework.
Not fighting reality, not bulldozing over emotion, but seeing it, naming it, and accepting it so you can move through it.
This also connects to the "Notice and Navigate Emotion" step from my YES AND Framework. Because until you acknowledge what's really driving resistance, you'll keep trying to solve emotional problems with logical solutions.
If you're leading a team through change, don't skip this part.
Create space for people to share their real concerns. Not just their surface-level objections. Ask: "What's scary about this change?" not just "Do you have questions about the process?" Let them express frustration, doubt, or fear without immediately trying to fix or dismiss it.
That emotional honesty creates the foundation for genuine change adoption.
Final Thought
To sum up:
Logic - start here, but don't stop here
Immersion - go big, but tread carefully
Small Steps - consistent, repeatable, build confidence
Emotional Honesty – the hidden unlock
The real secret?
Sometimes we need to mix and match. Sometimes logic cracks the door, honesty opens it, small steps build confidence, and immersion creates breakthroughs.
But wherever you start, the key is to start.
The things we resist changing often hold the most potential for growth, breakthrough, and competitive advantage.
Yes, even networking.
Ready to help your team embrace the changes they're currently resisting?
I help leadership teams navigate major organizational changes - from AI adoption to culture transformation to system overhauls - by addressing both the logical and emotional sides of change resistance.
Let's talk about the change your organization is struggling to embrace and how to finally move through it.