From Change Resistance to Breakthrough: Using the Groundhog Day Method

I’ve watched the Bill Murray movie “Groundhog Day” over and over and over (ironic, right…?).

I always loved the movie, but it wasn’t until years later while reading a book on screenplay writing that I discovered something fascinating that blew my mind: The entire script is structured around the  Kübler-Ross “Five Stages of Grief” model.

Phil Connors doesn’t just relive the same day—he grieves through it. And he only breaks free when he stops saying “Yes, But” to his reality and finally says “Yes, And.”

When I initially outlined my upcoming book on the YES AND Framework I really wanted to include this bit about Groundhog Day and the Five Stages of Grief. It didn’t really fit into the flow—my editor said I was “going down a rabbit hole.” She was right. But it was a really good rabbit hole.

So consider this article the deleted scene—the one that explains why your team might be stuck in their own Groundhog Day with that new software rollout, that reorganization, or that AI initiative—and what you can do about it.

The Groundhog Day Change Cycle

First off, if you are unfamiliar with Groundhog Day, go watch it! 

But to recap, Phil Connors is a weatherman who gets stuck repeating February 2nd in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He tries everything to escape. Nothing works. Until…

Until he stops fighting reality and starts working with it.

Your team is Phil Connors. That change initiative is their Groundhog Day. And they’re probably stuck in one of these five stages:

Stage 1: DENIAL - “This isn’t happening.”

Phil’s version: “This is just a long dream. I’ll wake up tomorrow and everything will be normal.”

Your team’s version: “This AI thing is just hype. Our clients will never go for it. Management will change their minds by Q3.”

The Yes, But trap: “Yes, things are changing, BUT not for our department/industry/role.”

What it sounds like in meetings:

• “Our customers prefer the human touch.”
• “We tried something similar in 2015 and it failed.”
• “This is just another management fad.”

Why they’re stuck: You can’t solve a problem you won’t admit exists. Phil spent who knows how many loops convinced it was a dream. Your team will spend months pretending the change isn’t real.

Stage 2: ANGER - “This is complete BS.”

Phil’s version: Punching Ned Ryerson in the face. Kidnapping the groundhog. Breaking everything in his room.

Your team’s version: The compliance that isn’t really compliance. The meetings where everyone’s camera is mysteriously “broken.” The talented people updating their LinkedIn profiles.

The Yes, But trap: “Yes, we have to change, BUT it’s stupid/unfair/going to fail.”

What it sounds like:

• “Whoever decided this has clearly never done our actual job.”
• “They’re just trying to cut costs.”
• “This is going to be a disaster.”

The energy drain: Anger is exhausting; for them, for you, for everyone. Phil destroyed property. Your team is destroying morale.

Stage 3: BARGAINING - “Maybe if we just…”

Phil’s version: Trying to seduce Rita with memorized facts about her life. Attempting to save the old homeless man. Playing every angle to manipulate the outcome.

Your team’s version: “Can we keep the old system for our biggest clients?” “What if we just pilot this with one small team?” “Could we delay until after the busy season?”

The Yes, But trap: “Yes, we’ll change, BUT can we keep [insert sacred cow here]?”

What it sounds like:

• “Let’s form a committee to study this further.”
• “We need more data before we commit.”
• “What if I just operate the old way by myself and we don’t tell anyone else?”

The false hope: Bargaining feels like progress. It’s not. It’s resistance wearing a reasonable costume. Phil thought if he could just say the right things to Rita… Your team thinks if they can just find the right compromise…

Stage 4: DEPRESSION - “What’s the point?”

Phil’s version: The toaster in the bathtub. Stepping in front of a truck. (Dark, I know. But important.)

Your team’s version: The quiet quitting. The blank stares in meetings. The good people who just stop trying.

The Yes, But trap: “Yes, we’re changing, BUT it doesn’t matter anyway.”

What it sounds like:

• Silence when you ask for questions
• “Sure, whatever you want.”
• “It is what it is.”

The danger zone: This is where you lose your best people. Not to anger—that’s loud and obvious. But to apathy. They’re physically present but mentally gone. Phil kept dying and coming back. Your team is dying inside and staying put.

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE - “Okay, what now?”

Phil’s version: Learning piano. Mastering ice sculpture. Helping literally everyone in town. Using the loop as an opportunity rather than a prison.

Your team’s version: “How do we make this work?” “What if we tried…” “I’ve been thinking about a way to…”

The Yes, And moment: “Yes, this is our reality, AND here’s what we can create with it.”

What it sounds like:

• “I found this cool feature in the new system.”
• “What if we used this change to also fix that old problem?”
• “I signed up for training on…”

The breakthrough: This is where innovation lives. Phil became the best version of himself not despite the loop, but because of it. Your team can too.

The “Yes, But” to “Yes, And” Transformation

Here’s what I learned writing (and ultimately cutting) the Groundhog Day section from my book:

"Yes, But" keeps you in the loop. Every “but” is a wall. A resistance. A reason to stay stuck.

• Yes, AI is here, BUT we’re different → STUCK IN DENIAL
• Yes, we have to adapt, BUT it’s unfair → STUCK IN ANGER
• Yes, we’ll try, BUT only if… → STUCK IN BARGAINING
• Yes, whatever, BUT who cares → STUCK IN DEPRESSION

"Yes, And" breaks the cycle. Every “and” is a door. A possibility. A way forward.

• Yes, AI is here, AND we can learn to work with it.
• Yes, this is hard, AND we’ve done hard things before.
• Yes, we’re losing something, AND we’re gaining something too.
• Yes, I don’t have all the answers, AND we’ll figure it out together.

The magic isn’t in the “Yes”—it’s in the “And.” The “And” is what transforms resignation into possibility.

The Phil Connors Leadership Playbook

Want to help your team break their loop? Here’s what Phil taught us:

1. Stop trying to control the outcome
Phil couldn’t stop Groundhog Day from happening. He could only control his response to it. Your team can’t stop the change. But they can control how they adapt.

2. Use the repetition as practice
Every loop was Phil’s chance to try something new. Every team meeting is your chance to model “Yes, And” instead of “Yes, But.”

3. Help others through their day
Phil broke free when he stopped focusing on his escape and started focusing on everyone else’s experience. Stop selling the change. Start supporting the people experiencing it.

4. Master something new
Phil learned piano, ice sculpture, and French poetry. Not because he had to—because he could. What can your team master that they couldn’t before?

5. Find meaning in the mundane
The same day became Phil’s canvas for creativity. The same “boring” new process can become your team’s opportunity for innovation.

The Ned Ryerson Moment

Remember Ned? The insurance salesman Phil keeps encountering?

Watch Phil’s progression:

• First: Avoids him (Denial - “This isn’t happening.”)
• Then: Punches him (Anger - “Make it stop!”)
• Then: Tries different tactics (Bargaining - “Maybe if I…”)
• Then: Ignores him completely (Depression - “Whatever.”)
• Finally: Embraces him (Acceptance - “Hey, Ned!”)

What is your organization’s “Ned”? That change you keep running into every day, trying in different ways to avoid.

That new CRM system? That’s Ned.That AI tool? Ned.That reorganization? Ned Ryerson, waiting at the corner.

Maybe it’s time to buy the insurance.

Where Is Your Team Right Now?

Here’s a quick diagnostic. Listen to your next team meeting and check which statements you hear most:

➡️DENIAL

• “This won’t affect us.”
• “They’ll change their minds.”
• “Our situation is different.”

➡️ANGER

• “This is ridiculous.”
• “They don’t understand.”
• “It’s going to fail anyway.”

➡️BARGAINING

• “What if we just…”
• “Can we keep the old way for…”
• “Let’s pilot it first.”

➡️DEPRESSION

• (Silence)
• “Whatever you want.”
• “It is what it is.”

➡️ACCEPTANCE

• “How can we make this work?”
• “I’ve been thinking about…”
• “What if we also…”

Now, here’s the kicker: Where are YOU?

If you’re in a different stage than your team, that’s your first problem. You can’t lead them to acceptance if you’re still in denial. Helping them through anger is challenging if you’re already at acceptance, wondering why they’re not keeping up.

The “Yes, And” Conversation Script

Want to know exactly how to lead them in this conversation? Here’s what actually works:

For someone in DENIAL:
“I hear you saying this won’t affect us. Help me understand why you think that. What are you seeing that I might be missing?”

For someone in ANGER:
“You’re pissed. I can see that. And honestly? That makes sense. What’s the worst part of this for you?”

For someone in BARGAINING:
“You’re trying to find a middle ground. I appreciate that. What are you most afraid of losing if we fully commit to this change?”

For someone in DEPRESSION:
“You’ve gone quiet on me. That tells me something. What’s going through your head that you’re not saying out loud?”

For someone ready for ACCEPTANCE:
“You’re starting to see possibilities. Tell me more about that. What could we build that we couldn’t before?”

Notice what’s missing? Judgment. Correction. The urge to fix. There’s only acknowledgment and curiosity.

Your Groundhog Day Challenge

This week, try this Groundhog Day exercise with your team:

Step 1: Share this article (or just the concept if sharing an article about a 90s movie feels too weird).

Step 2: Ask: “If our change initiative was Groundhog Day (or one of the Five Stages of Grief), which stage do you think we’re in?”

Step 3: SHUT UP AND LISTEN. (Remember my Chili’s CEO article? This is that moment.)

Step 4: Ask: “What would ‘Yes, And’ look like for us right now?”

Step 5: Do one small thing that moves from “But” to “And.”

The Morning After

When Phil finally wakes up on February 3rd, Rita asks him, “What do we do today?”

His answer? “Whatever you want.”

Not “Let me tell you the plan.” Not “Here’s what we should do.” But “Whatever you want.”

After mastering every moment of one day, he yields control of the next.

That’s the final lesson. Once your team moves through the stages, once they get to acceptance, once they start saying “Yes, And”—your job isn’t to control what happens next.

It’s to support whatever they create.

Because the people who survived their Groundhog Day? They’re not the same people who entered it. They’re better. Stronger. More creative.

Just like Phil.

Just like your team can be.

Your Move

Where is your team stuck in their Groundhog Day? More importantly—where are you?

The loop only breaks when someone stops saying “Yes, But” and starts saying “Yes, And.”

Why not let that someone be you?

My book on The YES AND Framework comes out in March 2026. If you would like to join my “Launch Team” and get an advance copy, get in touch and I will add you to the list!