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"We need everyone to embrace this change."
Sound familiar? It's what every leader says. But here's what actually happens:
20% actively resist (at least they care enough to fight).
20% become true believers (bless their optimistic hearts).
60% become professional survivors.
That last group? They've mastered the art of the corporate duck–serene on the surface, paddling like hell underneath. Except instead of their little webbed feet, it's their anxiety levels doing the frantic work while they smile through yet another "alignment meeting."
(I call them "professional survivors" because they've turned barely making it into an art form. LinkedIn should add it to their options for skills: "Change Survival • Endorsed by 47 colleagues who are also dead inside.")
And this is exactly why your competition is eating you for lunch.
Because while your team is perfecting the art of organizational survival, someone else's team is learning to surf.
I discovered this painful truth back in the late 90s, working as a programmer for a Fortune 100 company. A new CIO comes in, holds these marathon quarterly meetings via videoconference (back when the technology barely worked and we all looked like pixelated hostages).
He unveiled his revolutionary new slogan. Our response: "meh."
Then came the updated values statement. Even more "meh."
Then we had to relocate offices. Peak "meh."
We'd gotten so good at surviving each new initiative that we'd turned into corporate zombies. Clock in, endure the latest transformation, clock out. We weren't resisting; that would require caring. We were just... enduring.
The real tragedy? We were smart people doing important work. But we'd learned that the safest response to change was to duck and wait for it to pass. Meanwhile, smaller, hungrier companies were actually using change to get better, faster, and more innovative.
They were riding the same waves we were barely avoiding drowning in.
The Hidden Cost of Just Surviving
When teams merely survive change instead of harnessing it, here’s what really happens:
Stress compounds. You’re constantly treading water, playing catch-up with each new wave. Just as you get back to baseline, another change hits. It’s exhausting.
Innovation dies. Surviving change means asking “How do we keep doing what we’ve always done despite this change?” That’s the opposite of innovation, which asks “What can we do differently now?”
Morale flatlines. Best case scenario? You maintain the status quo. But usually, you can’t even get back to where you were. Meanwhile, teams that harness change actually end up better than before.
After watching this pattern for 30 years–first in IT, then with my improv troupe, and now with the hundreds of organizations I speak to–I discovered something:
The difference between surviving and thriving isn’t about the change itself. It’s about how we approach it. Here’s the method I’ve developed to do just that.
The YES AND Framework™: Your 6-Step Transformation Guide
Most people know “Yes, And” as an improv technique. But it’s actually a complete mindset shift that transforms how teams navigate uncertainty.
Here’s the framework that’s helped thousands of professionals turn resistance into momentum:
Step 1: Yield to What Is (Let Go of What Was, Build Toward What Can Be)
The Problem: Teams get stuck grieving the “good old days.”
I see this constantly. After my keynotes, leaders tell me their biggest challenge: “My team keeps saying ‘Before the merger, we could just…’ or ‘If only we could go back to pre-COVID operations…’”
Here’s what’s really happening: We resist change because we fear uncertainty. Going back to the old way requires no effort - it’s all “muscle memory.” Moving forward means relearning, trying new things, and breaking comfortable habits. And most people assume the future will be worse than the past.
The Solution: Yield doesn’t mean you have to like the current reality. It means accepting what is so you can find a way forward.
Try This Tomorrow: Ask your team: “How can we make this new reality even better than the old one?”
Don’t argue about why the past wasn’t perfect. That triggers defensiveness. Instead, acknowledge what was great AND open minds to what could be even better.
Quick Exercise: Have everyone write three things they miss about “the old way” and three opportunities the change creates. Watch how the focus shifts from lamentation to possibility.
Step 2: Embrace Emotion (How We Feel Drives What We Think, Which Drives What We Say and Do)
The Problem: “Leave your emotions at the door” is the biggest lie in business.
Think about when you’re falling in love–your partner’s snoring is endearing. A year later when the relationship has soured? That same snoring keeps you up at night, fuming in annoyance, contemplating how to smother them with a pillow and get away with it…
Same stimulus + different emotion = completely different response.
The Solution: Emotions don’t stay at the door, checked in like a cell phone at a courthouse. They bubble under the surface, creating resentment, resistance, and sabotage.
Try This Tomorrow: The Post-It Note Emotion Map
Give everyone sticky notes. Ask: “Write one word describing how you feel about this change.” No names needed. Stick them on the wall. Group them by theme.
Now you have a heatmap of your team’s emotional reality. Address it directly: “I see a lot of anxiety here. What specifically are we anxious about?”
This isn’t therapy. It’s data.
Step 3: Start Small (Take Tiny Steps)
The Problem: Grand plans trigger the amygdala’s fight-or-flight response.
Your mind’s fight-or-flight response is very important in keeping you safe from threats. The problem is that these days, it can’t tell the difference between a sabretooth tiger attack and the irrational fear we feel when considering a big change.
I learned this the hard way. A networking expert friend couldn’t understand why I avoided networking events. “But Avish, you should be GREAT at this!”
He was right about my skills. Wrong about what drives behavior.
My grand plan: “Meet 100 new people this month!”
Reality: Quit after 3.
My tiny step: “Have one genuine conversation tonight.”
Reality: Actually enjoyable. Built momentum.
The Solution: Shrink the change until it doesn’t trigger resistance.
Try This Tomorrow: Identify one change-related task that takes less than 5 minutes. Do it immediately. Don’t schedule it. Don’t plan it. Just do it.
Leader Story: A manager told me she started with just one “Yes, And” response per meeting instead of her usual “Yes, But.” Within a month, her team was bringing her solutions instead of just problems.
Step 4: Access Your Inner Creative Genius
The Problem: “I’m not creative” is the adult version of “There are monsters under my bed.”
Every child is creative. They turn cardboard boxes into spaceships and have in-depth conversations with imaginary friends. Then society teaches us to color inside the lines, and we lose touch with that genius.
The Solution: Worst Ideas First
When I ask teams for good ideas, I get recycled solutions and blank stares. When I ask for terrible ideas? Magic happens.
Try This Tomorrow: Pick a challenge. Spend 10 minutes generating intentionally bad solutions.
Workshop Magic: In one session, someone suggested their worst idea: “Let’s just fire everyone and start over.” That led to: “What if we created a ‘Day One’ mindset for existing employees?” Which became their successful change initiative.
Bad ideas are just launching pads for brilliance.
The Expert Interview Game: Even the most skeptical teams love this. Have people pretend to be the world’s foremost expert on something that they know nothing about (for me, this would be something like “makeup application”). Answer questions with total confidence. Watch how easily creativity flows when the pressure’s off.
Step 5: Nurture Your Core (Know Your Strengths, Passions, and Yes, Even Your Quirks)
The Problem: Change makes people feel their expertise doesn’t matter anymore.
This is huge with AI right now. I hear it constantly: “Will my job even exist in two years?”
The Solution: Your skills might become obsolete. You won’t.
I’m a nerdy guy who plays solo board games. For years, I hid this “embarrassing” hobby. Then I started mentioning it in keynotes. Most people don’t care. But the few who connect with it? Those become my strongest advocates.
Your quirks aren’t weaknesses. They’re differentiators.
Try This Tomorrow: List three things that make you different from others in your role. How could these become advantages in the new reality?
The Core Question: It’s not “What skills do I have?” It’s “What value do I really bring?”
A programmer’s value isn’t knowing Python. It’s solving complex problems elegantly. That never becomes obsolete.
Step 6: Dig Deeper (Get Curious, Not Certain)
The Problem: Certainty creates tunnel vision.
When leaders ask “Any questions?” after announcing change, they get silence. Not because people understand, but because they’re afraid to look stupid.
The Solution: Curiosity opens doors that certainty slams shut.
Try This Tomorrow: Replace “Any questions?” with:
“On a scale of 1-10, how confident do you feel about this change?”
“What’s one thing about this that makes you curious?”
Have everyone write questions anonymously on index cards.
Pattern Recognition: After hundreds of keynotes, I’ve noticed teams that thrive in change share one trait: They ask more questions than they make statements.
Making It Stick: Your 30-Day Transformation
These steps aren’t linear. They’re interconnected. Start with whichever one calls to you most urgently:
Lots of negativity? Begin with Embrace Emotion
Stuck in the past? Start with Yield to What Is
Going through the motions? Try Access Your Creative Genius
The biggest mistake? Expecting perfection. Take a cue from improv comedy–play with it, fail cheerfully, adjust, and try again.
Week 1: Pick one step. One tiny implementation.
Week 2: Add another step or expand the first.
Week 3: Watch for unexpected connections between steps.
Week 4: Celebrate small wins and recalibrate as needed.
Your Challenge
Look at your calendar. Find one meeting this week. Pick ONE thing from this framework - just one - and try it.
Maybe you’ll ask “How are you feeling about this?” instead of “Any questions?”Maybe you’ll suggest worst ideas first.Maybe you’ll share one quirky thing about yourself.
Start small. Build momentum.
Transform survival into thriving.
Because here’s what I know after 30 years of helping teams navigate change: The ones who thrive aren’t the ones with the best plans. They’re the ones who approach uncertainty with playfulness, curiosity, and a willingness to say “Yes, And” to what emerges.
Want to explore how the YES AND Framework could transform your team’s relationship with change? I’d love to chat about your specific situation. Grab 20 minutes on my calendar–no charge, just a conversation about possibilities:
https://bookme.name/avishp/lite/keynote-discussion-with-avish-parashar
Or if you know you’re ready to bring this transformation to your organization, let’s talk about how a keynote or workshop could help your team shift from surviving to thriving.
Let me know if there are any "yes, buts" or "Yes, Ands" - small or large - I can help you with!