“My Team is Stuck in Their Ways!” – The YES AND Method That Transforms Resistance Into Results

“My people are stuck in their ways. They resist every change we try to implement.”

I hear this from every type of leader rolling out change; from CEOs modernizing operations to IT directors implementing new systems to association heads navigating industry disruption.

They all say it with the same mix of frustration and resignation. Like resistance is just part of change. Inevitable, like death, taxes, and that one friend who feels compelled to call you in response to you sending them a text (what are they thinking?!).

But I watched an entire organization die from being “stuck in their ways.” Let me tell you what really happened.

When “How We’ve Always Done It” Meets “How We Need to Do It Now”

Years ago, I worked for an improv group affiliated with a university. We used comedy to discuss social issues - powerful stuff. For years, a big grant funded everything beautifully.

Then the grant disappeared. Time to change or die (Spoiler: They chose…poorly).

I joined a team to brainstorm pivot strategies. We had ideas: target specific audiences, create focused programs, find new revenue streams. Every suggestion met the same response from the founder (who barely showed up anymore but still controlled everything):

“Yes, but that’s not how we’ve always done it.”
“Yes, but we’ve never focused on just one audience.”
“Yes, but our history is…”

Lots of resistance to good ideas. Would they have worked? Who knows. But they were worth trying (it’s not like we suggested changing our identity to become a juggling clown rodeo. Or a clown juggling rodeo - which would have been really intriguing…)

Every “but” was another nail in the coffin. The group eventually closed.

Here’s what I learned: Being stuck isn’t about age or experience. It’s about fear dressed up as wisdom.

The Real Cost of Resistance During Change

When teams resist change, it’s not just about missed deadlines. It’s about:

• Change fatigue - Every initiative becomes harder than the last.
• Talent exodus - Your innovators leave for companies that listen.
• Competitive disadvantage - While you’re fighting internally, competitors are adapting.

One leader told me his biggest challenge wasn’t the market disruption - it was his own father (the founder) blocking every modernization effort. “He built this company,” he said. “How do I tell him his resistance is killing it?”

You don’t, because telling Dad his baby is ugly rarely goes well. Besides, if it’s your dad, then technically you’re his baby too. And you’re not ugly…right?

Instead, you use YES AND.

The 6-Step YES AND Framework for Leading Change Through Resistance

Y - Yield to What Is, Build Towards What Can Be (Start Where They Are, Not Where You Want Them)

When rolling out change, stop fighting their experience. Start with: “Yes, what we built worked beautifully for its time. And now the market needs us to evolve…”

Here’s the thing about experienced people - they have incredible knowledge. They resist change because no one’s asking them to help design it.

Try this: “Given your experience, how would you implement this to avoid the pitfalls?”

The shift: From change recipients to change architects.

E - Explore and Express Your Core (Connect Change to Purpose)

Resistance often comes from confusing methods with mission.

That improv group? Our core was using comedy for social change. The founder thought our core was doing it exactly as we’d always done it.

When introducing change, always connect it to the core purpose: “This new approach helps us serve our mission better by…”

The shift: Change becomes evolution, not abandonment.

S - Start Small, Take Small Steps (Pilot Before You Preach)

Big changes trigger the “that’s not how we do it” reflex. Small experiments? They fly under the resistance radar.

One director got his 30-year veterans on board with digital transformation by calling new initiatives “pilot programs.” Same change, less threatening language. Much like when my parents would convince me to eat food at dinner parties by saying, “It’s like Indian meatballs.” Reality: It was not like Indian meatballs. But it got me to try it!

The shift: “Let’s try this with one department” instead of “everyone switches Monday.”

A - Access and Apply Your Creative Genius (Blend the Best of Both Worlds)

Adopting a change often feels like a binary proposition - do it the old way OR throw that away and do it the new way.

And yes, that happens. But when you (and your team) get creative, you can often find ways of synthesizing the two. 

Change to the new way but let the old way, the comfortable way, the “we’ve always done it this way,” inform and influence the new way.

This requires creativity, and play, and experimentation. But it’s worth it, as it can be the way to not only come up with new and better ideas, but also to keep people more involved and engaged instead of resisting. 

The shift: From "either/or" to "both/and" - where the wisdom of the old way enhances the power of the new way.

N - Notice and Nurture Emotions (Address the Fear Behind the Resistance)

“Stuck in their ways” during change is never about logic. It’s about:

• Fear of becoming irrelevant
• Grief over losing familiar systems
• Anxiety about competence with new approaches

That founder who killed the improv group? She was terrified that changing meant admitting failure. Every new idea felt like erasing her legacy.

The shift: “I see how much you’ve invested in our current system. How can we honor that investment while preparing for what’s next?”

D - Dig Deeper (Turn Objections into Specifications)

Here’s an embarrassing admission: For YEARS, I put my contact lenses in backward. Every. Single. Day.

Why? Because when I first got them, the tech said: “You can’t tell which side is right. Just put it in. If it feels wrong, flip it around.”

So that’s what I did. For years. Never once did I ask: “Is there a better way?”

Then one day, my new eye doctor watched this ridiculous routine and said, “You know you can SEE which way is correct, right? Edges curve in = correct. Edges curve out = backward.”

Life changed. (Also, I felt like a bit of an idiot. But one who could see. So I could see how stupid my face looked at this revelation.)

I never dug deeper. Never questioned. Just accepted "that’s how it’s done."

Your team does the same thing with change resistance. When someone says, “That new system won’t work,” dig deeper:

• “What specifically concerns you?”
• “What would need to be true for it to work?”
• “What wisdom from implementing our last system could guide us?”

Don’t accept “It won’t work” any more than you’d accept putting contacts in backward every day.

The shift: Objections become design requirements.

The Change Conversation That Changes Everything

I see this constantly - organizations where necessary change gets blocked by the very people who built what needs changing.

Both sides are right. And both are wrong.

The magic happens when you say: “Yes, what you built is remarkable. And how can we adapt it for what’s coming next?”

Your Monday Morning Move

Before announcing your next change, try this with your most resistant person:

1. Ask about their proudest accomplishment with the current system
2. Listen fully (no “buts” allowed)
3. Then ask: “What would it take to create something you’d be equally proud of with the new approach?”

Watch what happens.

The Choice

When implementing change, organizations have two options:

1. Fight resistance until everyone’s exhausted
2. Use “Yes, And” to transform resisters into co-creators

That improv group chose option one. They’re gone.

What will you choose?

Ready to transform your change resisters into change champions? The YES AND approach turns “we’ve always done it this way” into “here’s how we’ll make the new way work.”