When leaders talk about resistance to change, it's usually framed as a logic issue.
"They don't understand why this is good."
"They're stuck in their ways."
"They're just being difficult."
But after 30 years of doing improv comedy and working with organizations on change, I can tell you: that's rarely what's actually happening.
Most reactions to change have very little to do with logic. They have everything to do with cognitive load.
Your Brain is Lazy (And That's a Good Thing)
Our brains are wired to reduce mental effort. Daniel Kahneman writes about this extensively in 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘍𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘭𝘰𝘸: we create shortcuts not because they're always accurate, but because they're efficient.
The problem? Change breaks those shortcuts.
Anything that used to be automatic now requires conscious thought. Things you did on autopilot suddenly demand attention again, and that increases cognitive load fast.
Think about your commute. Same route every day? You barely think about it. You listen to a podcast, plan your day, let your mind wander. But if your job moves locations, suddenly you're thinking about every turn again.
Now layer that across new tools, new processes, new expectations, new priorities - and then ask people to be enthusiastic, innovative, and proactive about it.
That's why change is exhausting, even when it's logical and even when it's necessary.
What People Do When Cognitive Load is High
When mental load spikes, people don't ask, "What's best?"
They ask, "What's easiest?"
Not because they're lazy, but because they're depleted.
You see it in behaviors like:
- Defaulting to "yes, but"
- Avoiding anything new
- Cutting creative or strategic work
- Focusing on low-effort tasks (hello, email scrolling)
People aren't opting out of change, they're just trying to survive the day.
What My Daughter’s 1-Year Birthday Party Taught Me About Leadership
When my daughter turned one, we threw a party at a small venue. We were setting up, running behind, juggling details.
Some friends arrived early and genuinely wanted to help. They kept asking:
"What can we do?"
"Should we do this?"
"How can we help?"
They were being incredibly kind.
And every time they asked, I found myself saying, "I'm not sure."
Not because there wasn't work to do, but because in that moment, 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘦 added more cognitive load than it relieved. I was already maxed out.
Finally, one of them said, "Would it be better if we just stopped asking and waited for you to tell us what to do?"
And I said, "Yes. That would be great."
(Hidden lesson: If you've ever wondered why your team isn't responding to your well-intentioned "How can I help?" during a high-stress transition…now you know.)
Why "Best Practice" Fails Under Pressure
When cognitive load is high, people stop optimizing. They default.
That’s biology, not laziness (as much as it might look like it).
Willpower and mental energy are limited resources. By the end of the day (or the end of a long change initiative) people simply don't have it in them to do the hard thing, even if they believe in it.
That's why I love the question Tim Ferriss popularized:
“What would this look like if it were easy?”
That question opens creativity and lowers mental strain. Rather than eliminate progress, it makes progress sustainable.
How the YES AND Framework Reduces Cognitive Load
This is exactly why cognitive load shows up throughout my upcoming book, Say “Yes, And!” to Change.
(Come on, if you’ve read my content for any amount of time you had to know I was going to mention my upcoming book…)
Change is hard not because people are bad, but because it's mentally expensive.
The 6-step YES AND Framework is designed to lower that cost:
- Y – Yield to What Is acknowledges reality instead of fighting it (less mental energy wasted on denial).
- E – Explore and Express Your Core grounds you in your values and strengths, so decisions feel clearer.
- S – Start Small, Take Small Steps reduces mental strain instead of piling it on.
- A – Access and Apply Your Creativity opens new pathways when old shortcuts no longer work.
- N – Notice and Nurture Emotions recognizes overwhelm before it becomes disengagement.
- D – Dig Deeper builds sustainable habits so "Yes, And" becomes a reflex, not an effort.
At first, saying "Yes, And" takes effort. Eventually, it becomes easier than saying "yes, but."
Like improv, it trains default responses that require less thinking, not more. And that's the whole point.
A Simple Leadership Question
If you're leading change, here's a powerful place to start:
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦?
Lower the cognitive load in one area so they have the mental energy to engage in another.
That's how you smooth the path to change.
Why This Matters (To Me, and Maybe To You)
I believe apathy (at work and in life) comes from prolonged cognitive overload. People don't disengage because they don't care. They disengage because caring feels too expensive.
That's why this work matters to me. If you want to help people not just survive change but harness it, to unlock brilliance instead of burning out, this is the conversation we need to be having.
Want to Go Deeper?
I'm currently opening spots for my book launch team.
If you join, you'll receive:
- A free digital advanced copy of the book in late March
- Access to a free YES AND training
- A few bonus resources
All I ask is that you read the book and leave an honest review a few weeks later.
To avoid spam, I'm not sharing the link publicly.
If you want to read more (and get the full book before anyone else), join my Launch Team. Drop me a line and let me know you're interested, and I'll add you to the list.
And if you want help reducing cognitive load, leading change, or bringing the power of YES AND into your organization through a keynote, training, or consulting engagement, let's talk. That's exactly what I do.