Image credit: AndrewLozovyi
Are you going through a rough patch? Feeling stuck, like you’re not making progress, and starting to wonder if the problem is that you’re just not good enough?
You’re not alone. I was there too—not that long ago.
Last year, my business hit a slow stretch. Bookings weren’t coming in, leads were drying up, and I found myself in a mental spiral. One day, I was venting to a fellow speaker in my mastermind group, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out:
"Do I just suck?"
It sounds like something I would say as a joke, but deep down, I was seriously questioning myself. Because when things aren’t going our way, it’s easy to assume the worst.
Then I was listening to an episode of the Office Ladies podcast - a podcast all about the U.S. version of the TV show The Office - that stopped me in my tracks.
They were interviewing Bob Odenkirk who guested on one episode and was incredibly close to originally being cast as Michael Scott. He was talking about actors auditioning for roles and how so many of them walk away thinking they weren’t good enough when, in reality, that wasn’t the case at all:
"Most of the time, you're gonna see that if 60 people auditioned, 15 of them were good. You know? 10 were really good. And five, everyone was amazing. And you're gonna realize one of those five is gonna get the role, and the other four who were unbelievably awesome are gonna think, 'I sucked. I'm not good enough.' And they're wrong. They're wrong."
That hit home. Hard.
Why? Because I realized I was doing the same thing to myself. I was looking at the empty spots on my calendar and assuming I must not be good enough. But maybe, just maybe, the gigs I had gone after just weren’t the right fit at that moment. Maybe it wasn’t about whether I was good enough, but about the client’s timing, needs, and a hundred other factors beyond my control.
Catching Your “Yes, Buts”
This is where “yes, and” becomes more than just an improv principle—it becomes a mindset shift.
Too often, we hit a rough patch and immediately fall into a “yes, but” trap:
- Yes, I’ve worked hard, but I must not be good enough.
- Yes, I got some positive feedback, but it doesn’t matter because I didn’t get the gig.
- Yes, I have lots of experience, but clearly, no one wants to hire me.
The problem with “yes, but” thinking is that it turns temporary setbacks into permanent self-doubt. It makes you believe a single rejection (or even a series of rejections) is proof that you’re fundamentally lacking.
The truth? It’s not proof of that.
Instead of “yes, but,” try “Yes, And!”
- Yes, I didn’t book that gig, AND I’m going to keep trying and find the right one.
- Yes, this is frustrating, AND I know I have something valuable to offer.
- Yes, things are slow right now, AND that means I have time to sharpen my skills and refine my approach.
But Let’s Be Real… You Do Need to Be Good
There’s an important caveat here. “Yes, and” doesn’t mean blind optimism. It doesn’t mean ignoring feedback or refusing to improve. If every audition an actor does is “meh,” then not getting the part isn’t about bad luck—it’s a sign they need to put in the work.
The same is true for any craft. If you’re not getting the results you want, it’s worth asking:
- Am I truly putting in the reps to get better?
- Am I refining my message, my delivery, my skillset?
- Am I getting objective feedback and applying it?
Because “yes, and” isn’t just about believing in yourself—it’s about believing in yourself enough to keep getting better.
You Don’t Suck. Keep Going.
So if you’re in a slow season, if you’re feeling the sting of rejection, if you’re starting to wonder, “do I just suck?” - hit pause.
Catch the “yes, but” and replace it with “yes, and.”
And then get back to work. Because you’re good. Maybe even great. You just need to keep going until the right opportunity finds you.
Let me know if there are any "yes, buts" or "Yes, Ands" - small or large - I can help you with!