What does it take to create a culture of wellness in our workplaces and our lives? And how do we overcome the 'yes, but' resistance when it comes to making better choices?
In this episode, I sit down with the amazing Elaine Pasqua, a speaker who has spent the last 30 years working with universities, corporations, and professional sports teams on wellness, resilience, and responsible decision-making. We dive into how to make smart wellness choices that stick, the power of self-reflection, and why small, intentional actions matter more than big, overwhelming goals.
Plus, we discuss the impact of social media addiction, dopamine, and why so many of us struggle with motivation—even when we know what we should be doing. Elaine shares actionable tips for building healthier habits, boosting workplace morale, and fostering a culture of care that benefits both individuals and organizations."
Key Takeaways:
How to make wellness an effortless part of your daily routine.
The power of self-reflection in driving personal and professional change.
Why workplace wellness programs matter (and how they boost productivity).
How social media addiction hijacks our motivation—and what to do about it.
What Saquon Barkley, the Philadelphia Eagles, and elite athletes can teach us about leadership and teamwork.
Why resilience isn’t just about pushing through challenges—it’s about learning, adapting, and growing stronger.
Relevant Links:
Connect with Elaine: www.elainepasqua.com
Follow Elaine on LinkedIn: Elaine Pasqua
Watch Elaine on YouTube: Elaine’s Channel
Learn more about Yes, And with Avish Parashar: Podcast Homepage
Unedited Transcript
Avish Parashar
Hello, Elaine, and welcome to the podcast.
Elaine Pasqua
Thank you, Raveesh. It's always a pleasure to see you and be with you.
Avish Parashar
It is great. It's always great talking to you. In fact, we already spent, like, fifteen minutes just talking because once we get started,
Elaine Pasqua
That's what we do.
Avish Parashar
I'm like, I should record this, just so it's out there. So well, thank you for being on here, Elaine. I wanted to have you on here because you're doing some really interesting stuff, and you've got an interesting background, which we're we're going to get into. But before we get into that, just for people who aren't familiar with you and your work, could you just share with us, like, your kinda one minute bio or pitch or whatever it is, kind of, about what you're up to these days work wise?
Elaine Pasqua
Sure. Well, I have been a professional speaker for thirty years, and I have worked with a number of different clients. I've worked with over 700 universities nationwide, creating a niche for working with collegiate athletes and also new students, helping them make positive choices to, succeed in life and not get waylaid because they're partying out of control. I've also worked with the military doing work with sexual assault awareness and programming, and more recently doing a lot of work with associations and businesses doing programming on wellness and incorporating that into their lives as well as into the workplace. And also I have done some work with inclusion and effective communication and trying to help people create a healthy and, mentally well workplace culture where everybody collaborates well together. So that's in a nutshell. I guess I'm trying to think if there's any other factors that I've left out, but I've had quite a varied,
Avish Parashar
I think It's great. But what I love about it is that your topics, some of the things you're talking about are things that could be considered sensitive or dry or heavy, you know, sexual assault and alcoholism, substance abuse. And but you found a way for you've been doing this for, what, thirty years? Is that
Elaine Pasqua
Thirty years.
Avish Parashar
Yes. You've sort of always found a way to make your programs very interactive and engaging and and fun and funny. Right? So how did you manage to take these topics that are so maybe people don't even wanna talk about them or they're sensitive. How did I I realized I'm way off the script. I think I told you we're gonna talk about. But it's but I'm curious.
Like, how did you figure out ways of bringing humor and lightness to these heavy topics?
Elaine Pasqua
You know, I think growing up in New Jersey gave me moxie to speak comfortably about these topics. I grew up right outside of New York City, and a lot of people have commented that over the years and saying, you take something that's so difficult to talk about and make it easy to talk about. And, I guess it's just ingrained in me. I have, I feel like, you know, I've been through heavy times in my life, but I've also learned that you can add humor. You can always find a silver lining. You can always find humor in everything that you do, and people want to laugh. So no matter how hungry it is, but you have to know when to carefully insert that humor.
So you're still being respectful to, the subject matter and not making it seem like it's lighter than it is. So it's a it's a delicate balance between the two.
Avish Parashar
But And when you can walk that balance, that's when clients love you and have you back because they're like, oh, she's able to make this fun but not make light of it. And
Elaine Pasqua
Yes. Yes. And they also a lot of my clients like the fact that I've been flexible in my subject matter too because I've watched how needs have changed. I mean, people thirty years ago and their issues and what they're encountering is way different than it is now. And so you need to keep changing your topics, your subject matter so you can remain relevant to them.
Avish Parashar
Well, let's let's talk a little bit about that, because you have changed. I know you spoke a lot in the past past to education, the universities, and then you did a lot of work with sports teams. And now you're currently you're still doing that, I know, but currently
Elaine Pasqua
And and I do I will I'll interrupt you. I'm sorry. That's the one, sector that I left out when I'm talking. I was like, where did I leave that up? I've worked for 32 teams across the NFL, NBA, Major League Baseball. Okay. So
Avish Parashar
I know. You you you like
Elaine Pasqua
Yeah. I remember.
Avish Parashar
Bearing the lead. Right? That's the most impressive thing. In fact, in prepping for this, I said, do you wanna send me some stuff to watch? You're like, oh, here's a good interview. It's just you talking to David Tyree about the helmet catch and, and you gotta link pictures on your social media and website about you with this sports team and that sports team. I'm so happy
Elaine Pasqua
to figure that out.
Avish Parashar
I said, it's pretty cool. But so you've done a lot of that, and you're still doing that work. But you started doing more lately, with with companies, corporations, and associations. So I wanna I wanna start there. And one of kinda your your lead programs for that, is titled happy, healthy, and present crushing it at work. So tell us a little about what that program is all about.
Elaine Pasqua
That program is raising awareness that this machine, the human body, which I have a great background on because I used to be a dental hygienist. So I had to study anatomy, histology, microbiology, all this, and it gave me appreciation of the delicate balance that all the systems work on. And trying to get people to understand that if we care for this, it's like a car. It's going to be good to us and it's going to perform well. And when we perform well, we are going to be way more productive. In fact, companies were in nationwide, nationally, they lose two hundred and twenty six billion dollars every year due to absenteeism. And so when they incorporate wellness into the workforce and make this part of their culture, 90% see an increase in productivity.
And then those people bring those habits home, so people are healthier in the home and they're calling out sick less. It just all cycles upon each other. So I get people to reflect on their medical histories, the family history, their own history, who they want to be there for, and what are their goals. You know, one year out, five years out, ten years out. And, so they get to understand the importance. And then I share all the different ways that we can incorporate health and wellness into our own lives, even getting up and exercising at your desk, and I show them all the different strategies because I run around like a maniac all day. I don't go to the gym, But I have my weights over in the corner.
I'm lifting weights. I'm bouncing on my medicine board.
Avish Parashar
One thing I think anyone who's met you, can account for is your energy. You're like a dynamo. You just kinda keep going. And you just had a milestone birthday, which is incredibly
Elaine Pasqua
Another decade. Yay.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. You just turned 70. Yes. But, really, anyone just watching you run across the stage and all the things you do and your energy. And you just you just mentioned this or maybe you mentioned one of the interviews I watched where, like, you know, you went to, like, a retreat with a bunch of kinda similar women professionals and you were, like, twenty years older than most of them there, and they were all commenting on your energy.
Elaine Pasqua
Yes. Yes. Yep. They they definitely were. And, so that energy, you know, it's I mean, for my for my birthday, I hosted a dance party and danced all night. I didn't sit still. I I never sat down at a table where everybody else is, like, versatile.
And, and but, you know, and then with the I also help people, learn to, how to set up different programs within the workplace, how to bring that in as as being part of their culture. And the interesting thing is, I spoke for an association in Pennsylvania, back in June, and I was told by the head of the association that, it's a lot of older people. They're not going to like this, but I'm gonna do this anyway. And I got there. I loved all these people. I was, like, yucking it up with them. We had a great time.
I entered the cornhole contest the night before. I'm not the kind of speaker that comes in the day of and leaves. I stay for a day or so and really get to know people. But a couple months later, I got an email from one of the attendants, and this was an older gentleman. And he said, you really motivated me and my wife to change our lifestyle habit. And since then, I have lost 32 pounds. My blood pressure has decreased, and my I'm not having any issues with my skin that I had before.
And you have motivated us to develop our own blue zone here in Pennsylvania, because the blue zones are the areas of the world where people
Avish Parashar
Oh, yeah.
Elaine Pasqua
Longer
Avish Parashar
long lived.
Elaine Pasqua
Than most others. And so, you know, that's what fills your heart when you hear or I hear back from people after they've seen the program and they go, I now have little weights in my office, or I'm getting up and I'm doing my squats, or I'm doing this and that. So motivating people in the thing.
Avish Parashar
Let's dig into this a little bit. Right? Because, this is great. And anyone listening who's in HR or executive, you're like, oh, I want some of that wellness program for mine. You know, you should definitely, reach out to Elaine. But let's get a little bit tactics, if you don't mind, around this and starting with with more of a meta tactic because one of my main topics is is change. And, you know, basically, it's like saying yes and and a lot of people will say yes but, especially to wellness.
And when you're talking about some of these topics like like wellness or some of the other things you've talked about in the past like like sexual assault or alcoholism, like, these are all things that our brain logically knows. We should do this or not do this. Right? And yet, in the moment, so many people make the bad choices. Right? So what have you found strategically helps people? Like, it's essentially helping people do the things they know they should be doing, but they don't.
Because I would think that's kind of a big part of a wellness program. It's like it's very rarely a a lack of information. Right? Like, people know it's not that people don't know I shouldn't eat the donut and I should eat the oatmeal. It's that the donut's so much tastier. So so how do you kind of address that?
Elaine Pasqua
I think you have to bring the information forward in a way that's easy for them to receive it and not make it look like, I'm telling you to do this. I'm telling you to do that. But if you share storytelling is amazing. So if you share the, positive outcomes that people see, then that can make a difference. I think the thing that really helped in when I developed this program, it was not part of it, but I even mentioned it earlier where I had people take a few minutes to reflect on their medical histories and who they want to be here for. And a gentleman came up to me after that same conference that I did in June, and he said, you made me think. And I said, what did I make you think about?
And he said, everything. And then another gentleman said, you shifted my perspective because my goals coming into that room were way different than they were going out of that room. So I think when you can introduce a moment of self reflection to people, then it makes them more open to the information that that you're imparting on them.
Avish Parashar
And that's, I think, so powerful because, you know, I don't talk about wellness. Right? Obviously, I'm one of the people who needs a wellness program. Come
Elaine Pasqua
on, Abish. Let me straighten up.
Avish Parashar
Well, I have been working on it this year. But, it it's it's it's it's a great little approach to change. It's the same kind of thing I talk about with change is that we think when we wanna get people to change, we need to give them arguments and information. Here's what you should do. Here's why you should do it. And yet, I think the one statement you said that the person said to you is, it's like you made me think. So if you could just make someone think, not by telling them what to do because that immediately creates that pushback, right, that yeah, but, like if you just get them to think and I think the two ways of doing that, like you said, storytelling.
You tell someone a story, then their mind just starts automatically thinking, putting themselves in there. Or the other way, I think, is by asking them questions to get them to think.
Elaine Pasqua
Not giving them the answer. For thinking. You gave them a cause for thinking and reflection. And I think that reflection piece really changed my program dramatically and how the people received me and my information because I put it on them first.
Avish Parashar
Yes.
Elaine Pasqua
So it made them more open, and that, I think, just made a a world of difference. So
Avish Parashar
Yeah. I love that. And so how have you found that the corporate people are responding, not necessarily the employees you're doing the program for, but the decision makers? Do you feel like you're getting resistance people saying we don't need a wellness program, or are they coming to you already knowing they need it?
Elaine Pasqua
Well, you know, it's interesting because I was just in New Jersey, earlier in January doing a program for the, North Jersey or the Jersey Shore human resource group. And so these are all the employees coming in from different businesses within that that area. And so many people came up to me even before the program and said, we're really interested in seeing this because, health and wellness is important. I think a lot of people are starting to recognize the importance of it. You know, we're looking at the mental health issues that we're seeing, the physical and the mental go hand in hand. Yeah. I'm trying to keep people enthusiastic, energized, happy about their work.
And I often say to people, look, you don't feel well. You're curled up under on the couch and on under a blanket. And you're just not that motivated to work and to to focus. And so when we feel good, we have that motivation.
We have that drive. We have that desire. And the other thing that happens too is when you incorporate wellness into the workforce, the workforce performs better for you because they know that you care for them outside of their lives within the workplace. And when you show that caring, they're going to wanna perform for you.
They'll be more loyal to you.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. It it is a two way street. And it's so funny you said, like, when you're feeling better. We had just talked beforehand about I started the first two weeks of this year. You know, like, a lot of people do high motivation, really focused doing good things. And then this bug hit my house, started my oldest son and then my youngest daughter, and then I got sick. And, like and, literally, once I got sick and I wasn't laid out.
I mean, one day I was, but, really, for the most part, I was just, like, low energy, a cough, and my discipline just ran away. My motivation wasn't gone.
And it's so true. Like, if you're if you're not feeling good, it's so much harder to be productive. I I just triage. I'm like, here's the stuff I gotta get done. I wasn't going above and beyond.
I wasn't getting ahead. I'm just like and so I wanna go deeper in what you something you said about mental about the mental piece. Before that, though, how about one more tactic for someone who's listening? Maybe they have a desktop. You already mentioned things like exercising at your desk. But how about, what what would you recommend to, like, someone who wants to start? Maybe their company hasn't doesn't have a wellness program yet, and they're gonna reach out to you.
But before that, what is what are a couple of things someone who, like, sits at a desk all day can just start to doing to start improving their wellness?
Elaine Pasqua
It's important to move and, and, you know, wellness is holistic. So in this program, I'm not just talking about movement, but I also talk about diet, you know, getting rid of processed foods, getting rid of sugar takes discipline. But if you eliminate those things from your diet, you'll see it. We are what we eat. But in terms of movement, even just, you know, around three in the afternoon, we're sitting there and you're reading something, you start, like, nodding and you're bobbing your head. And then before you know it, you you Mhmm. Come up and you got a little bit of drool in the corner of your mouth.
You're like, oh, shit. I hope nobody sees that. And but if you get up at your desk and I have my audiences get up. I'm I'm one I'm known for my interaction. You know that, Avi. So people are moving around constantly. But just even getting up and and if you can, if your knees can handle it or whatever, doing 25 squats.
And when we sit for longer periods of time, the the, blood flows from the brain down to our feet and we lose our focus. We don't retain information the same way. And so if you get up every twenty minutes, you're bringing that blood flow back up to the brain.
So I do squats. I do I even do this stuff when I brush my teeth and blow dry my hair.
I do leg lifts. I do, you know, plies where you're squatting with your feet to the side. I also do arm circles. You can also do planks where you put your hands on the desk and you're doing your modified push ups, so you're working your biceps and your triceps. Or you can go to a doorway and do that as well. Or even sometimes I won't purposely will not fill my water container up full. So I'm making sure I'm getting up every hour and I'm going down the stairs.
And then when I come back up the stairs, I take the stairs two at a time because you're engaging a different group of muscles, or I will run up and down the stairs. Or if I'm going from one room to another, people think I'm nuts if they could see me. But I skip, and it's fun. It's I feel like, you know, I'm 10 years old again, but it engages a whole different group of muscles, and it gets that energy. And then I can go for a walk. So if you can even squeeze in even just ten minutes outside because being outdoors gives us a mental reset and the physical reset. Go for a walk at lunch if you can.
Avish Parashar
So I love it. I think the common theme, it's like I think sometimes people think of wellness and they're like, well, alright. I gotta get up an hour early to go to the gym. And this is years they incorporate little I don't know if you've seen this. There's a study that's been going around recently on social media where someone said if you do 10 bodyweight squats every 45 minutes, it has, like, this huge benefit. So it's like every 45 minutes, get up, do 10 bodyweight squats, and that's it. It's like just little bits over the course of the day, just gets that motion.
It has health benefits and mental health just like getting them. It's it's and that's one of the things I talk about with improv.
The improv work is very much a step by step. It's like, just take one little step and see what happens and make an adjustment. And I don't know if you see this with wellness or anything you work on, but so many people in my experience just don't get started until they can take the massive action. They wanna get all their ducks in a row, clear their calendar, get the new clothes, sign up for the membership, like, when
Elaine Pasqua
all that stuff out for them. Yes. No. I know.
And you have to and you have to go you have to know your body and read your body and don't destroy your body in the process. So, I do push ups, and I I don't do the push ups where I'm up on my toes because I have an exaggerated lumbar curve. So it just it was never comfortable for me. So I do the modified where I'm on my knees. Mhmm. But I created these killer biceps, and I started I did five the first day, and then I did maybe ten two days later. And I got up to 40, but then you have to read your body because then I got to the point where I started to feel some discomfort in my shoulder.
And that's your body saying, cut it out. And so I backed down to doing 20 in the morning and maybe 20 in the afternoon. And so you just have to go easy on yourself. I think the problem that we see of each is that a lot of people don't read their bodies and tune in to what they're feeling and intellectually take them in and make the adjustments that they need to create this, you know, optimal performance for themselves. I mean, I I I can still wear the same clothes that I was wearing in high school. I've maintained my weight. I I my friends used to love to watch me eat when I was in high school and college, and I could pack away a whole pizza by myself.
I would or they would I would bring a lunch, and they would, like, watch all the stuff that I was pulling out. And after a while, I learned I couldn't do that anymore. Your metabolic rate changes dramatically at 40. So we have to keep making adjustments along the way to maintain what we want to, you know, at the level that we want to.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. And I think it's such a good lesson. Just take a little step, see what happens, make an adjustment, pay attention, don't get tunnel vision. And so I wanna kinda build off of that and go back to what you said about the the the mental health piece. And this is a broad topic, so I just wanna focus on the one thing because then listen to you in in previous interviews and learning before this podcast, you have a whole I'm not sure if it's a section of your wellness program or a whole separate topic entirely, but you do this whole thing around social media addiction and and dopamine. And I found that, like, my my little bells went off because last year, I settled it as the issues I've had my whole life with procrastination and motivation. I I was like, oh, once I put it in the context of dopamine, it it all made sense.
So I did a deep dive for myself. So when I saw, oh my god.
This is something Elaine is talking about. I'm like, oh, we gotta talk about that. So so for people who are unfamiliar with what we're talking about, what is it you talk about when it comes to social media addiction and dopamine?
Elaine Pasqua
Well, the dopamine rush is the dopamine is the feel good chemical in our brain. And when we use alcohol, when we use drugs, when we use social media and you get those likes coming in, it secretes the dopamine. And that hence, we get that addictive pattern. We want more, we want more, and then we keep using and we keep using. Social media was not built to connect us. It was built to keep us clicking and and and staying addicted and staying on. And I truly believe that social media I I mean, believe me, I do a lot with social media.
I have a love hate relationship with it. And it's kept me in touch with so many people that I love, so many people that I would not have been in touch with from years ago. But, it's harmed a lot of people. When I look at it, especially our youth today and the mental health issues that we're seeing in the crisis, especially TikTok because a lot of these kids are just scrolling, scrolling, scrolling. They don't know how to look anybody in the eye. They don't know how to have a conversation, and, it's unhealthy. We're slowly disconnecting from one another, and we're creating a loneliness epidemic, you know, where people just wanna hole up and just be on their devices.
It's not good. Or we show up with our devices and, you know, you sit down at dinner with everybody and everybody's got their
Avish Parashar
Mhmm. Cell
Elaine Pasqua
phone on the table. And it's almost like you're sending this subtle message that there's something more important that's gonna come in, and I'm gonna distract from my visit with you and take that instead. So we're we're just sending these messages that are not good. The blue zones, one of the traits that those people have is they are extremely social. It's so important to socialize. People lift us up. I love being around people.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. And it's funny that, because you and I are sort of opposite ends of the spectrum. I'm pretty introverted. You are not.
Elaine Pasqua
Jeff calls my husband calls me pathologically social.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. And, but I think that this is slightly different because even as an introvert, I like to be social, but I may wanna do it with people I know, with with friends, with colleagues. I'm not the person who's gonna go to a networking happy hour and chat with, like, eight different people and walk out with two best friends, but that to me is torture. But I do like to see my friends and, connect and chat. And it is interesting how, the social media it gives us the illusion of that. Right? Because if I'm on Facebook and I see posts from people, I feel like I'm connecting to them, but I'm really not.
So it almost it's as an additional barrier because you're kinda fooling yourself. You're like, oh, yeah. No. I've been I've been in touch with so and so.
It's like, oh, no. I haven't. I've just been liking their posts on Facebook.
Elaine Pasqua
Yeah. And you know what happens with social media and you find this is that you start mindlessly scrolling. And instead of being productive and living your life, you're sitting there just mindless mindlessly scrolling through everybody else's fabulous moments. And, I think we I believe that social media has destroyed our GDP. You know? You look at what people could be doing with their productivity, but they're instead they're on their phones looking. So it's a
Avish Parashar
Well, I and I think the thing that I found for me and I I I'm actually thinking about shifting my business or adding a separate piece to my business because this is like someone once, I think it was Rory Madden, I think who you know, had said, your ideal client is who you were in the past. Like, the what's the message you needed to hear? And I'm like, this is the message I hear. Because what I find is with social media, the the the product when you when you go on just productivity and time, it's like, oh, I got a half hour. I'm not doing anything else. Let me scroll. I'm not really cutting my productivity.
But what I find is it's not the time in that moment. It's the dopamine hit. Because once I start scrolling, it gives me that dopamine spike. And then when that dopamine crashes, all I want is more quick hits, and all I wanna do and my so my motivation drops. When I found that on mornings when I don't have the discipline and I let myself surf just Facebook for ten minutes or TikTok for ten minutes, the rest of the day, it's not just like, oh, that ten minutes, I could have been doing it's, like, literally hurts my motivation and drive for, like, hours afterwards.
Elaine Pasqua
I I I agree. I think you you summed it up so well. And, you know, you have that drop. And, again, that's their their sole goal was to keep you addicted and to keep you scrolling and to keep you going on because they're making money out of all the ads. And you like, for instance, you look at Facebook now. The majority of posts that I am seeing are ads. And every once in a while, you've got a friend sprinkled in here and there.
It didn't used to be that way. I mean, they're they're making billions off of us.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. Their whole point is to keep you on the app And by doing the the the quick, the refresh oh, yeah. And TikTok's even better at it. Like, I I have been using TikTok and I was on I use it for a while trying to build a platform, but now I mostly just realized I'm addicted to the platform. And the algorithm on TikTok is so good, and it just the the the the quick hit of everything, it's just like but, yeah, when I realize when I can have the discipline like, I try not to check anything until lunchtime. Right. And the days I do that, I get more done, I'm more motivated, I feel better, but it is amazing.
Again, the logical. Right? It's so logical, of course. It's better, but it's so easy when you feel a little down or stressed. It's like, oh, let me just take a quick look and then everything everything goes out the window.
Elaine Pasqua
Even my friends are doing. Right? Instead of doing your own thing.
Avish Parashar
But I love the fact you're incorporating that into into programs.
Elaine Pasqua
Well, I have I I have a program on resilience that I've had for, the college students because resilience is down, and I want to start bringing that into the corporate world too because I know that, a lot of organizations are concerned about that, the mental health issues and and resilience. I have had a lot of very difficult moments in my life. My dad died on a tennis court when he was 49 years old, and then my mom remarried and my stepdad unknowingly contracted HIV and passed it on to her, and I lost both of them to AIDS related causes. And I turned that into my speaking career, and so I want to teach people that we're going all of us are going to go through something heavy, and I just always say it's it's a same theme, different variation, but, we can learn that we can come, stronger, come out of it stronger on the other side, and that's what I, you know, strive to do in my resilience program. I mean, I don't want people to not feel their pain, but you can work through it and you can find there's always positives around you, always people surrounding you that help you get through those moments, and that helps to lift you up and lift you out of those dark moments.
Avish Parashar
And I think to to tie it to the social media and I was just talking with, someone earlier today was helping with error. They're they wanna talk to me because they wanted to be more motivated. They're like, well, you've been working for yourself.
So you've been self motivating. So we talked. And this idea of of you said, like, you know, you want people to experience their their pain. And I think that, I think so much of the the dopamine, the the social media, the quick gratification stuff is really about avoiding uncomfortable feelings. It's like and it could be something major like grief, but it could be something small just like a little bit of stress or even a little overwhelmed like, I gotta send, like, these I gotta respond to these 200 emails.
Let me just quickly check Facebook. It's a way of, like, creating avoiding pain.
Elaine Pasqua
Yeah.
Avish Parashar
And it's so easy to do. It makes you feel good for a second and then it goes to downward spiral.
Elaine Pasqua
Well, it's interesting. I've done work with grieving, years ago. Did some training and then did some work with it. And they say that people grieve the way that they live.
So if you're a procrastinator, you'll put it off. And I've seen people do that where they have a a very, personal close loss in their life, and they just keep themselves busy, busy, busy to avoid those feelings from flooding in. And after my mom died, it was very painful because we were so close. I went to a support group at Doylestown Hospital, and it was for adult children who lost a parent. And that group was phenomenal because it was people that were experiencing the same loss that I was. And by the end of the year, I was on the other side, and I was like, I'm good. I'm good.
I I've worked through this. And some other members of my family who didn't do that, they started crashing and burning year two or year three. So it just we all do things differently. Yeah. And a lot of it depends on our habits and whether we push things off or face them head on.
Avish Parashar
Wow. That's great.
And we're coming coming close to end of our time, so I wanna make sure we have time to talk about one of my favorite things, which is the Philadelphia Eagles. Yeah. At the
Elaine Pasqua
at the time.
Avish Parashar
I should have I realized I've I've heard you say go birds and stuff, but I realized what when you grew up in North Jersey, and then I heard you talking to David Tyree. I'm like, are you a Giants fan? Are you an Eagles?
Elaine Pasqua
I am glad you asked. I was a Giants fan all my life. I was a Yankees fan all my life, and it was 02/2016. The year that Carson Wentz came in.
Was that '16? '16. It was '16.
I worked for them that year. So I'll put it out there for everybody. I did training for the rookies at the New York Giants for nine years and absolutely love them. And that's how David Tyree, and I became good friends because he he was not there initially. There was somebody else in that position, but then I was working with him for, four or five years as he was head of player development. And he is just one of the most remarkable guys. I mean, we get on the phone now.
We can talk easily for an hour. He's just filled with wisdom and insight. He's he's amazing. And then I worked for the, Eagles one year, and what happens in this business is new team owners come in or the person who is your contact comes in. So I was working with a guy, Quentin Michael, who actually played with the eagles. Right. Mhmm. And Quentin and I developed an amazing, collaborative relationship that year, and I'm like, yes.
I'm in with the Eagles now. And he has five kids, and he left at the end of his first year because he said, I this is just too much. I need to spend more time with his family. And the new person came in, and I can't even get that person on the phone. So but that was the year that Carson once came in, and, Quentin actually had me not just come in and do my program, but be with them for two full days. So I got to know that Ricky Ricky cleaned us well. I sat across from Carson at dinner, you know, got to know these guys very well, and and they're very different personalities and different life experiences.
So it's always interesting to see that.
Avish Parashar
I didn't know that about Carson. He was my 02/2017 Carson Wentz is my favorite football player of all time. I was in love with Carson Wentz that year. I I didn't buy a lot of paraphernalia, but I bought a Carson Wentz, like, T shirt jersey. I was all in on Wentz, and it was just sad with the injuries kinda how he
Elaine Pasqua
I know. And he was and and that's the year I became a fan. And sorry, Giants, but I kinda I kinda switched sides, even though I got a lot of abuse from all these Eagles fans years before, because I'd be the only one in the room
Avish Parashar
loyalty or two.
Elaine Pasqua
But they'd be like, Elaine, we hate you. And so, but I I fell in love with the Eagles that year because it was delightful to watch Carson play. And then, you know, he had his injury and Saint Nick came in and just took it to
Avish Parashar
magical year as a Philly guy.
Elaine Pasqua
Was phenomenal. And and even Jason Kelsey, I want to get in touch with him because when I found out that he was at University of Cincinnati, I looked up his picture and what he looked like because I've worked with their athletes a number of times. And then I pulled up my pictures, and I think it was 02/2008 when I was there, who's standing behind me on stage engaged in one of the role playing exercises.
Avish Parashar
Oh, really?
Elaine Pasqua
It's Jason. So I wanna get in touch with him. I've been trying, and I I'm gonna work on this after football season is over and say, Jason, do you remember me? And so it was very cool.
Avish Parashar
So speaking of and when football season is over, we are recording this five days before the Super Bowl where the Eagles will be playing the Chiefs. And, you know, as I said, Carson Wentz two thousand seventeen was my favorite player. Potentially Saquon. Potentially being supplanted soon, because Saquon Barkley is just he's an amazing player. He's having an amazing season, MVP caliber season. But everything and and the best part is every interview this guy does, you just love him more because he says all the right things. He just seems like the best guy.
And then lo and behold, I'm on, like, LinkedIn and you make this post just like hanging out with Saquon or how you, like, you he was in one of your sessions and you got to know him. So so I definitely wanted, especially because we're right in the middle of Super Bowl with with the Eagles. I just just share with me a little of your experience about that Saquon Barkley.
Elaine Pasqua
My last year with the Giants, I guess it was 02/2019 or was it '18, but it was before COVID. And, Saquon was in that rookie class. And the cool thing about that day with Saquon is usually when I'm going to work with an NFL team, I will look at that rookie class because that's who I work with, and I will see who they are, where they came from. I didn't have time that week to do it because we were apartments sitting in New York, so we were busy doing a New York thing. And so I'm sitting in New York, so we were busy doing a New York thing. And so I didn't know who he was, and I think that was good because it made me, relate to him in a genuine way. And so, you know, not be starstruck or, you know, this is the guy, the number two draft that that season or whatever.
He sat front and center. I'm always impressed with the people that come down to the first row, and Saquon, sat front and center. He was so open. He was so friendly. He was just you know? And I and I'll be honest, sometimes when I work with some of the teams, some people have chips on their shoulders when they're coming in, and then others are just genuine and you just see who their their hearts and who they are. Saquon asked absolutely more questions than any other rookie that I've ever worked with.
He just fired one after another after another. And, to me, that shows a very intelligent, curious person.
Avish Parashar
And just sorry. Just for context, because we talked we touched upon a little bit, but when you're saying you he's asking questions and you were doing a program, you were doing a program for rookies around, like, how to make smart choices when it comes to Yeah.
Elaine Pasqua
The topics that I the topics that I would normally cover with the rookies is, high risk drinking, sexual assault, and sexual health. And, you know, when somebody is coming into working or playing on a professional team, they're more vulnerable. And a lot of times, these young men can be entrapped by people. You know, young women come in and they look they wanna they wanna sleep with them. They wanna get pregnant. They wanna do this, the cha ching. They wanna ride on the coattails of their success.
And I warn them about that. In fact, I've had NBA players going, you know, I never thought about it until you told me, and then I ran my tape backwards to go, oh, so that's what was happening. Mhmm. So I'm just trying to get them to understand that you're in a much brighter, spotlight than you were even on a collegiate level. And, you represent your city, you represent your team, you're a role model for little kids, and choices that you make do not go under the radar. And so trying to get them to make positive choices and be out there in the media for the right things and not the wrong things.
So Saquam was amazing. So that's what that program was about that day. And it was it was so sweet because he, made it a point to stand next to me for the picture because I always have a group picture and he wanted to stand next to me. And we talked a lot about his Lehigh Valley roots, and he was excited that Jeff and I were living here in Doylestown in Bucks County. And, it was just such a positive experience. And I see who he is today, and he's exactly the same person he was that year coming in. And Yeah.
Avish Parashar
It's like every every, like, interview he has, every, like, mic'd up moment where they cut to something he said, it's like he's like the ultimate yes and teammate and collaborator. Like, I don't know if you saw this earlier in the year when he was he was close to breaking his personal all time single game rushing, and he's, like, on the sideline. And the coach is like, look. We're winning by a lot. I'm gonna pull all the starters, but you're, like, 20 yards away from getting your personal record. I want you to get it if you want it. And Saquon's like, no. I'd rather see the young guys eat.
And it was just like
Elaine Pasqua
Yeah. Or or here's record. In another interview, he said I'd rather go to the Super Bowl than break this record. Or what I liked is, when he broke another record and did another thing, it was late in the season. And he basically said, I couldn't have done could not have done this without this team, and he didn't even put it on him. Yeah. He's put it on everybody else.
Avish Parashar
Well, there was a sideline of that, when he broke whatever, the Eagles single game record, like, 200 I think it's the Rams. He hit, like, 250 yards. And there's a a thing of him walking up and down with the offensive lineman saying we did it. Like, he didn't say I did it or he was getting like, thank you for helping me. He was like, we did it. And it's just that mindset that like, to me, it's a yes and mindset is very, like, positive, like, putting it out there, supporting others, and it's so inspiring that that you know, to see someone do it. And it's just so it's, like, makes me grateful that, you know, sometimes, you know, this whole thing about don't meet I think that's what your LinkedIn post was. Right? It was like, people say don't meet your idols or don't meet your heroes.
But when you met him, like, oh, you meet him as your hero. Like, oh, wow. You are just as genuine and good.
Elaine Pasqua
Well and I think that this is largely, the underlying success of this team because from what I understand, he's the one in the locker room that's really motivating people. And when you have somebody that is that good and that successful, and he's not putting it on him and his ego, but he's putting it on everybody, that's that's elevating all of them, and that's motivating them. You know, if he was being self centered and and a jerk, the other guys would be like, well, you know, they they would ruin their motivation, but I think he has just pumped everybody up on that team. It's and he that's the kind of person he is.
Avish Parashar
And let's, let's kinda start towards wrapping up by tying this all back then. Right? I mean, obviously, you know, makes millions of dollars, going to the Super Bowl, chance to make history. But the lesson there, right, is, like, he is the star, quote, unquote, and he's still asking questions in a in a in a training. He's still saying we did it, not I did it. He's still saying no. Let's give and how many times do we see in the work world, the corporate world, where a manager or boss is insecure or not thinking, and so they just take the credit themselves or berate other people. And it's like and that kinda comes to wellness too. Right? Because mental health, like, if you're in an environment where you feel supported, psychological psychologically safe, which is something I talk about a lot, you know, you perform better.
But if you've got a leader who's, like, an anti Saquon, who's, like, not being that supportive, it can have a dramatically negative effect.
Elaine Pasqua
You spend more time looking over your back and waiting for something to drop that's not comfortable, and you can't focus on your work. You can't focus. You lose your motivation. You don't even want to perform well. I mean, when I was out there not as a self employed person, when I would go into work someplace, first question I would ask people is how long have you been here? And if you hear years and years, then you know that they're good people to work with. If you keep hearing three months, six months, one year, you know don't that's not the place to be.
So if you treat people well, they're going to treat you well. They're going to be loyal. They're going to perform well for you, and your organization is going to benefit from that.
It increases your culture. It increases your reputation, and, ultimately, it increases your profits.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. It's a simple rule. Just just be like Saquon, and, your your company and team will thrive.
Elaine Pasqua
Be kind. Be kind to be I love people. Be kind to people. And, you know, I think the thing is that sometimes we get judgmental. I will spend as much time talking to the woman that's cleaning the bathroom as I will talk into a CEO of a company because that woman in that bathroom has a story that we can all learn from. And that's what we need to do is just learn to talk to people, even just being kind and saying, are you having a good day?
How are you today? You know? And and if you're upset and things don't go well, like, you know, something goes wrong, you're checking in your motel or people and I'll just say, it's okay.
It's a good day. Nobody died today.
Just keep things in perspective.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. It's it is. It's and and we can talk on it. We we can get a whole new tangent
Elaine Pasqua
about that. It could go on for hours.
Avish Parashar
Yeah. Just just remember, everyone's a person and it's it's not only helps them, it helps you too, you know, because it keeps your emotions in check and gives you a positive outlook. Elaine, this has been great. I'm gonna finish up with, one final question. Before I get to that, though, we've already alluded to, you know, the work you do, whether it's an association or a company that wants to bring a wellness program in or program on resilience, or if there happens to be a a sports team listening or a university, I wanna bring Elaine into a program on, you know, risky behavior, sexual assault, alcoholism. How should people find you and contact you?
Elaine Pasqua
You can get me on my website, www.elaine,elaine, and then pasco,pasinPeter,a,sasinSam,qua. com. So www.elainepasco.com.
Avish Parashar
Fantastic. Yeah. Check out the website.
A lot of great info. And you got video on there as well. Right? So we can see you.
Elaine Pasqua
I do. I'm working on getting new video. You know how it is. But there's
Avish Parashar
a I have a
Elaine Pasqua
YouTube channel, so you can just go to Elaine Pasquot on YouTube and find me there. I'm also on LinkedIn too. So
Avish Parashar
Great. So in the in the show notes, I'll link to all three of those. I'll link to your website, to your LinkedIn, and to your YouTube channel. People can, check out Elaine. So, Elaine, kinda as a final thought, and I didn't prep you with this question in advance. I one of the things I talk about is I honestly believe the world would be a better place if everyone just started with a default mindset of yes, and instead of yes, but. We have changed our default.
Our first thought instead of being yeah, but was to at least explore yes, and the world would be a better place. So from your perspective, what is one small thing that you believe if everyone did, it will make the world a better place?
Elaine Pasqua
Be kind. Be kind.
That's that's my first one for everybody. And then, yes, and then I just wanna bring it in one other place. Believe in yourself and go further than you think you are. Because if you ever thought if Elaine Kasper, who grew up on Gertrude Street in Clark, New Jersey, ever thought that she was gonna be standing in the NFL headquarters looking down on Park Avenue going, I can't believe I'm here. You know, go for your dreams because you never know where it's gonna get you. Don't be afraid to hear no because you have a fifty fifty chance of hearing yes. And if you hear no, brush yourself up, dust off, dust yourself off, whatever, and push on for the next thing because there's always good things ahead.
Avish Parashar
I love it. Be kind. Believe in yourself. Amazing. But it's a great way to end. Elaine, thank you so much. This was a fantastic chatting with you, and, hopefully, we'll, do it again soon.
Elaine Pasqua
Thank you, Vish. I would love to.
It's a pleasure as always. Thank you.